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Band 6.5

The table shows the average band scores for students from different language groups taking the IELTS General Test in 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The table shows the average band scores for students from different language groups taking the IELTS General Test in 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The table illustrates the
overall
Linking Words
 mark of
students
Use synonyms
 from four countries (Germany, France, Indonesia and Malaysia) who participated IELTS general exam in four categories (Listening, Writing, Speaking and Reading) in the year 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that German
students
Use synonyms
 achieved the highest
overall
Linking Words
 band
score
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
students
Use synonyms
 from Indonesia attained the lowest.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,
Students
Use synonyms
 from Germany excelled with an
overall
Linking Words
 of 6. 7, including listening 6. 8, reading 6. 3, writing 6. 6 and speaking 6. 9, making them
most
Correct article usage
the most
show examples
 successful
students
Use synonyms
 in the exam.
In contrast
Linking Words
,
Indonesia
Correct your spelling
Indonesian
show examples
students
Use synonyms
were
Verb problem
had
show examples
 the
least
Correct word choice
lowest
show examples
overall
Linking Words
 band
score
Use synonyms
, obtaining listening 6, 3, speaking 6. 7, and both writing and reading were 6. 1. Looking at the details,
students
Use synonyms
 from France emerged as second
the
Change preposition
with the
show examples
 highest
overall
Linking Words
score
Use synonyms
 — taking, taking with 6. 5 and
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
least 0. 2
than
Replace the word
then
show examples
 the highest one is Germans.
Lastly
Linking Words
,
students
Use synonyms
 in Malaysia garnered an
overall
Linking Words
 6. 4 band
score
Use synonyms
, accounting for listening 6. 2, reading 6. 4, speaking 6. 0 and speaking 6. 6, showing a good performance in the exam.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "overall".
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words students, score with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 2 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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