In some countries owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

It is undeniable that individuals prefer to buy their own
home
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homes
show examples
and it's very essential for them.
This
is because homeownership gives them peace of mind for several reasons. In my view, buying
home
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a home
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brings
sense
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a sense
show examples
of joy and security for owners.
This
essay will examine
that
Correct word choice
apply
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why buying
home
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a home
show examples
is more
favorable
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favourable
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and what is the good point
in
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of
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this
purchase. One of the reasons for
importance
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the importance
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of having own
home
is that buying
property
is like
investment
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an investment
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.
In other words
, by paying
mortgage
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the mortgage
a mortgage
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or
buy
Wrong verb form
buying
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home
Correct article usage
a home
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in cash,
people
save their money.
For example
, after several years, there is a chance that the value of their
property
will increase a lot compared to the time
which
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when
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they buy their
home
.
This
is why owning a
property
can make
people
more wealthy.
Furthermore
, those who are living in their apartments can make a renovation or change the fundamental design of their
home
based on their own taste. I believe
people
who live in their own
home
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homes
show examples
are significantly happier.
This
is because
instead
of paying rent which
is make
Wrong verb form
makes
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owner richer, they not only by paying mortgage invest their money but
also
they can save money for more fun.
In other words
, owners
has
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have
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better ability to travel or join expensive activity.
for
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For
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instance, homeowners are able to spend much more time with their families and they do not need to be worried about their old age years.
As a result
of having more fun and quality time,
people
are going to be happier and optimistic.
To sum up
, purchasing
home
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a home
show examples
instead
of paying rent gives
sense
Add an article
a sense
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of security and stability to with owners.
Although
there
are
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is
show examples
some minor
downside
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downsides
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about
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to
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buying
home
Correct article usage
a home
show examples
, I believe living
in
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on
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own
property
is more satisfying than paying rent.
Submitted by rr on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear central topic that is developed logically. Currently, some paragraphs can benefit from more structured explanations and transitions.
coherence cohesion
In your introduction and conclusion, make sure to clearly state your main argument and summarise your main points more distinctly. This helps in emphasizing your stance.
task achievement
Support your points with more specific examples and evidence. While you mentioned the benefits of owning a home, including more detailed examples and statistics could strengthen your argument.
task achievement
To improve your score in task achievement, expand upon your analysis by considering both sides of the argument, even if you lean towards one perspective more. This demonstrates an ability to critically analyze the topic.
task achievement
Watch out for minor grammatical errors and work on varying your sentence structures to enhance readability and engagement.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • ownership
  • renting
  • importance
  • sense of security
  • stability
  • financial investment
  • asset
  • customize
  • decorate
  • belonging
  • community
  • potential
  • future generations
  • long-term
  • cost advantage
  • control
  • living space
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