IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Nowadays, science plays a huge role in humans'
lives
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, and most people argue that it should take part in improving their
lives
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.
However
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, I totally agree with the idea for some reasons that will be set out below. On one hand, scientific
knowledge
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 is invented and developed by humans,
thus
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 its purpose is to uplift people’s
lives
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. It is unimaginable how civilization would become without the existence of science development, as most products and goods used in daily
lives
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 utilize its principles.
For example
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, without the discovery of internet signals and Wifi, communication would not be as convenient as it is right now.
Also
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, most people are facilitated by the existence of it to convey their messages.
Hence
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, if scientific
knowledge
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 continues to be applied for the sake of people’s needs, all of the problems in
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lives
Correct pronoun usage
our lives
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 will surely be tackled effortlessly.
On the other hand
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, the usage of science without ethics may lead to disaster, as some irresponsible scientists may use
of
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apply
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their
knowledge
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 for personal benefits and ambitions without consideration.
This
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 problem is caused by the lack of aim in the current education system, resulting in the abusive usage
for
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of
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 terrorism. Some problems relating to them can be seen recently, where some groups of people make use of their
knowledge
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 to design explosive substances in order to attack and destroy the enemy, resulting in
creating
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apply
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more negative impacts,
such
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 as war and inhumanity. In conclusion, it is important to implement scientific
knowledge
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 to improve people’s
lives
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 as many aspects of them will be made easier and depend on them,
nevertheless
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, it should be followed by wise decisions.

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coherence cohesion
To enhance the logical structure, ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next to maintain reader engagement and understanding. Consider using more connectives and transition words.
task achievement
Expand on your points by providing additional specific examples or evidence to support your arguments further. This will strengthen the overall essay and demonstrate in-depth understanding.
task achievement
Ensure that your ideas are consistently clear and comprehensive by elaborating on your main points. Explanation of how the examples connect to the broader argument will improve the clarity.
coherence cohesion
The introduction clearly outlines your position and sets the stage for the essay, which is well-developed and engaging.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes your arguments and reinforces your position, providing a clear ending to your essay.
task achievement
You provide specific examples, such as the internet and communication improvements, to support your main argument effectively.
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