You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Some people think that outdoor activities are more beneficial for children’s development than playing computer games. To what extent do you agree or disagree? You should write at least 250 words.
In contemporary times, it is undoubtedly that youngsters prefer playing online games to playing outdoors with their friends. Some individuals claim that physical
activities
are more positive for children
than spending time in front of the computer. I firmly agree with this
statement and this
essay will try to look at the reasons.
To begin
with, outdoor activities
play a vital role for children
. There are a plethora of activities
that they can do outside their homes and
have positive effects on their Correct word choice
that
behavior
. Parents should encourage their youngsters to play outside of the home, so they can make friends with other Change the spelling
behaviour
children
. For example
, bringing them to play in the playgrounds near their homes, can reduce their addiction to playing games. Moreover
, it can stimulate their ability to communicate and enhance their confidence in the community.
Furthermore
, children
can learn about nature from camping activities
or short hiking with their parents. Taking them to have some vacations is a good approach for
their self-development. It can increase their desire to protect the earth and their knowledge about the objects around them. Change preposition
to
Additionally
, introducing the earth such
as forests, beaches, and animals to youngsters is good for their mental health because they can take time to be calm due to
school activities
. Although
it might be dangerous sometimes, it should be tried carefully and adults should supervise their children
.
To sum up
, doing many activities
outside of Correct article usage
the homes
homes
has positive benefits for Fix the agreement mistake
home
children
, particularly for their manner and social well-being. Moreover
, adults should participate in observing their children
.Submitted by innezgracias on
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Task Achievement
To improve task achievement, ensure that you fully address the prompt by not only agreeing or disagreeing but also discussing the extent of your agreement or disagreement. It's crucial to present a more nuanced discussion that explores the reasons behind your stance more comprehensively.
Coherence & Cohesion
For a better score in coherence and cohesion, work on creating a more logical flow between paragraphs. Try using a variety of transition words and phrases to link ideas more clearly. Also, ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that all sentences within a paragraph support that idea.