In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an ageing population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. To what extent do the advantages of having an ageing population outweigh the disadvantages
In recent years, It has become far more normal for lots of
countries
to show longer life expectancy than in the past. While
there may have
some benefits for current society , Verb problem
be
this
can contribute to having exact problems for the governments, I think.
On the one hand, having lots of elderly people
in our community which
Correct pronoun usage
who
has
not Verb problem
do
a
wish to learn Correct article usage
apply
own
history is maybe useful. It might be important to prevent the community from the loss of imagination about Marvels in history, whose heroism still provokes Correct pronoun usage
their own
young
generation to be the leader of their society. Another one is to maintain customs Correct article usage
the young
pass
from the past until now Wrong verb form
passed
as a result
of saying
historical events. There are unchanged traditions Verb problem
apply
such
as being respectful to ancestors in
where old Change preposition
apply
people
live more.
Inspite
of the arguments above, Correct your spelling
In spite
this
hard situation brings several problems to the government
. Firstly
, living more
longer has a detrimental contribution to the rate of unemployment in most Correct quantifier usage
apply
of
Change preposition
apply
countries
, which comes at the expenses
of increasing the expenditure of these provisions. Some Fix the agreement mistake
expense
european
Change the capitalization
European
countries
now are, for example
, experiencing that the proportion of individuals who have lost their abilities
to work Fix the agreement mistake
ability
on
increase compared to having babies. They are facing precise Change preposition
apply
difficulty
related to the lack of Fix the agreement mistake
difficulties
work force
. Correct your spelling
workforce
Moreover
, the second issue is to being
given money that the Wrong verb form
be
government
can invest in other more useful sectors such
as education and military
to develop the intelligence and safety of Correct article usage
the military
countries
for people
are
in retirement. It is evident that dividing investment into Correct pronoun usage
who are
this
people
category comes at a huge cost to countries
Change noun form
countries'
country's
budget
. As an outcome, Fix the agreement mistake
budgets
this
condition can compose
the Verb problem
cause
government
not to focus on other more
primary fields anymore. These two examples can easily explain why Correct quantifier usage
apply
this
case has many dismerits
more than merits.
In conclusion, Correct your spelling
demerits
ageing
population seems to have some important sides Add an article
the ageing
such
as being aware of historical characters
and protecting from losing customs for our generation, rising unemployed Replace the word
characteristics
people
degree and having reduction
in Add an article
a reduction
countries
Change noun form
countries'
country's
budget
can be underpinned as unresolved issues to the Fix the agreement mistake
budgets
government
.Submitted by amuhammedov665 on
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Task Achievement
To improve your Task Achievement score, ensure that you directly address the essay question in a clear and comprehensive manner. Develop your arguments with more precise and detailed examples, clearly distinguishing the advantages and disadvantages in relation to the ageing population.
Coherence & Cohesion
For enhanced Coherence and Cohesion, focus on organizing your essay with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Use topic sentences to start each paragraph, signaling the main idea, and ensure the logical flow of ideas by using a variety of transition words effectively.
General
Work on supporting your main points with stronger evidence and examples. This will strengthen your arguments and make your essay more persuasive. Aim to present a balanced view by exploring both sides of the argument in equal depth.
Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic
Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.
You essay structure should look something like this:
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – Problems
- Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- One of the first problems of the...
- Another problem that needs to be considered...
- A possible solution to this problem would be...
- One immediate practical solution is to...