IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

SOME PEOPLE THINK THAT SUCCES IN LIES COMES FROM HARD WORK AND DETERMINATION, WHILE OTHERS THINK THAT THERE ARE MORE IMPRTANT FACTORS SUCH AS MOENY AND APPEARANCE. DISCUSS BOTH VIEWS AND GIVE YOUR OPINION

#people #succes #work #determination #imprtant #factors #moeny #appearance
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IN AN EVER-PROGRESSIVE SOCIETY, THERE IS OFTEN THE QUESTION OF WHETHER LIFE GLORY DEPRIVES
FROM
Change the preposition
OF
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 PERSISTENCE AND DILIGENCE OR
IT
Correct your spelling
IS
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 BASES ON OTHER REAGANET
SUCH
Linking Words
 AS
FINACE
Correct your spelling
FINANCES
 AND
EXTERIOR
Correct article usage
THE EXTERIOR
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. THE OPINION OF THE WRITER CONTENDS THAT COMMERCIAL
BACHGROUND
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BACKGROUND
 AND THE APPEARANCE WILL BRING MORE SUCCESS
DUE TO
Linking Words
VARIETY
Correct article usage
A VARIETY
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 OF JOB OPPORTUNITIES AND BUSINESS RELATIONSHIPS, DESPITE OTHERS
BELIEVE
Wrong verb form
BELIEVING
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 THAT HARD-WORKING PEOPLE WILL GAIN MORE LIFE EXPERIENCE.
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introduction
Provide a clearer and more detailed introduction that precisely states the two views and your opinion. This will help the reader understand the essay's direction from the beginning.
structure
Organize your essay into distinct paragraphs, each addressing a specific point. A recommended structure is: introductory paragraph, one paragraph for each view, a paragraph explaining your opinion, and a conclusion.
coherence
To improve coherence, use linking words and phrases to connect ideas and paragraphs logically. This will help your essay flow more smoothly.
examples
Support your arguments with specific examples. This will make your points more convincing and demonstrate a deeper understanding of the subject.
grammar
Revise for grammatical accuracy and spelling. Errors can distract from your argument and reduce the clarity of your communication.
conclusion
Ensure your conclusion summarizes the main points and restates your opinion clearly. This reinforces the argument to the reader.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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