Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Some argue that the great way to bring
people
together from any kind of culture and age is with music
. I completely agree that music
is a good prime method to bring people
together despite their differences. However
, there are also
other alternatives to make people
feel connected with each other, one of which is through food
.
There are thousands of music
that have been released until today, but only a few of them are timeless. There are several reasons why music
is categorized as timeless, firstly
is because it can be an ear pleasure for those who hear it. Secondly
, due to
the lyrics that still feel related until nowadays. For example
, the music
band Westlife once held a concert in Jakarta Indonesia and people
from different countries, ages, and genders gathered in Gelora Bung Karno just to hear Westlife sing their songs. It is proven that music
is considered to be one of the best ways to bring togetherness.
Another way to make people
come and sit at the same table is through food
. Food
is as timeless as music
because most humans almost have the same type of taste when it comes to good food
. For instance
, McDonalds and Kentucky Fried Chicken (KFC) are the main major fast-food
restaurants. The question is who doesn’t like the food
they provide? When it is almost all of the families coming from whole different generations like to make a stop at those restaurants and buy food
from them.
In conclusion, music
is the best way to bring togetherness in spite of differences that people
have, such
as cultural differences or even different generations, even though there are still a number of ways to make people
gather, one of which is through food
.Submitted by baitynuris191 on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure the introduction clearly states your opinion in relation to the question and that the conclusion effectively summarises your overall viewpoint. Use a variety of linking words and organise your paragraphs clearly with one main idea per paragraph to improve logical flow and structure.
task achievement
Ensure you fully address the prompt, providing not only agreement or disagreement, but also a nuanced discussion of why and how music brings people together, and possibly comparing it more directly with other methods for a balanced view. In addition, clarify your position throughout the essay to reiterate and reinforce your argument.
lexical resource
Utilise a wider range of vocabulary with more precise language tailored to the topic. Be cautious with word choice to avoid informal expressions that aren't suitable for an academic essay. Also, work on paraphrasing the question prompt effectively to demonstrate lexical flexibility.
grammatical range
Incorporate a variety of complex sentence structures and ensure grammatical accuracy throughout the essay. While some complex sentences are present, try to reduce the frequency of simple sentences by combining related ideas and using subordinate clauses, conditionals, and passive constructions where appropriate.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.