Some people think that success in life comes from hard work and determination, while others think that there are more important factors such as money and appearance. Dicuss both views and give your opinion
Success
is the main purpose of our life. It is argued that hard work and determination lead to Use synonyms
the
accomplishment, but some Correct article usage
apply
people
think that Use synonyms
money
and Use synonyms
appearance
are the crucial elements. From my perspective, I argue with the second statement.
Use synonyms
To begin
, achieving Linking Words
success
is very important and Use synonyms
rely
on many factors. Many young Correct subject-verb agreement
relies
people
choose Use synonyms
start-up
to be successful. Fix the agreement mistake
start-ups
However
, they have to prepare a large amount of Linking Words
money
or try to find the Use synonyms
invest
Replace the word
investment
money
from the investors. Use synonyms
That is
why the capital Linking Words
play
a crucial role in Change the verb form
plays
success
. A good example of Use synonyms
this
is that when young Linking Words
people
want to establish a small business, they need available Use synonyms
money
to lease the land and buy Use synonyms
infractures
.
Correct your spelling
infrastructure
Secondly
, to become successful Linking Words
require
a good job with Correct subject-verb agreement
requires
high
salary. When you apply for a job, the first challenge you have to pass through is the first impression. Correct article usage
a high
The
Correct article usage
Appearance
appearance
is very important if you go to Use synonyms
interview
. Correct article usage
an interview
For instance
, Linking Words
communicate
with customers or Wrong verb form
communicating
appear
in public always priorWrong verb form
appearing
a
person who looks so polite and smart.
Hard Change preposition
to a
working
is Replace the word
work
also
the main factor of Linking Words
success
. When Use synonyms
people
want to do something, they need to be Use synonyms
enthusiasm
and Replace the word
enthusiastic
hard working
. Add a hyphen
hard-working
However
, it is not enough, because on the road to Linking Words
Use synonyms
success
there are a lot of competitors. And Add a comma
success,
people
who do not have conditions Use synonyms
such
as Linking Words
money
and Use synonyms
appearance
will Use synonyms
be lose
.
Change the verb form
be lost
To sum up
, Linking Words
studious
and determination are important factors. Replace the word
studiousness
However
, Linking Words
money
and Use synonyms
appearance
are crucial because of job demands and relationships.Use synonyms
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task achievement
Make sure that your essay thoroughly addresses the task. Discuss both views presented in the question before stating your opinion. Your essay seems to lean heavily towards the importance of money and appearance, with a brief mention of hard work and determination. Expand your discussion to give equal consideration to both perspectives.
coherence cohesion
Maintain a clear and logical structure throughout your essay. Use paragraphs effectively to differentiate your main points. Try to offer clear transitions between paragraphs that help guide the reader through your argument. This will strengthen the coherence of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Support your main points with specific examples or evidence. While you presented some examples, delve deeper into how these examples support your argument. Specific details will make your argument more convincing and your examples more illustrative.