Some people think that success in life comes from hard work and determination, while others think that there are more important factors such as money and appearance. Dicuss both views and give your opinion

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Success

Use synonyms

is the main purpose of our life. It is argued that hard work and determination lead to

the

Correct article usage

apply

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accomplishment, but some

people

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think that

money

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and

appearance

Use synonyms

are the crucial elements. From my perspective, I argue with the second statement.

To begin

Linking Words

, achieving

success

Use synonyms

is very important and

rely

Correct subject-verb agreement

relies

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on many factors. Many young

people

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choose

start-up

Fix the agreement mistake

start-ups

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to be successful.

However

Linking Words

, they have to prepare a large amount of

money

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or try to find the

invest

Replace the word

investment

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money

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from the investors.

That is

Linking Words

why the capital

play

Change the verb form

plays

show examples

a crucial role in

success

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. A good example of

this

Linking Words

is that when young

people

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want to establish a small business, they need available

money

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to lease the land and buy

infractures

Correct your spelling

infrastructure

Secondly

Linking Words

, to become successful

require

Correct subject-verb agreement

requires

show examples

a good job with

high

Correct article usage

a high

show examples

salary. When you apply for a job, the first challenge you have to pass through is the first impression.

The

Correct article usage

Appearance

show examples

appearance

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is very important if you go to

interview

Correct article usage

an interview

show examples

For instance

Linking Words

communicate

Wrong verb form

communicating

show examples

with customers or

appear

Wrong verb form

appearing

show examples

in public always prior

Change preposition

to a

show examples

person who looks so polite and smart. Hard

working

Replace the word

work

show examples

also

Linking Words

the main factor of

success

Use synonyms

. When

people

Use synonyms

want to do something, they need to be

enthusiasm

Replace the word

enthusiastic

show examples

and

hard working

Add a hyphen

hard-working

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However

Linking Words

, it is not enough, because on the road to

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success

Add a comma

success,

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there are a lot of competitors. And

people

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who do not have conditions

such

Linking Words

money

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and

appearance

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will

be lose

Change the verb form

be lost

show examples

To sum up

Linking Words

studious

Replace the word

studiousness

show examples

and determination are important factors.

However

Linking Words

money

Use synonyms

and

appearance

Use synonyms

are crucial because of job demands and relationships.

Tue Mar 26 2024

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task achievement

Make sure that your essay thoroughly addresses the task. Discuss both views presented in the question before stating your opinion. Your essay seems to lean heavily towards the importance of money and appearance, with a brief mention of hard work and determination. Expand your discussion to give equal consideration to both perspectives.

coherence cohesion

Maintain a clear and logical structure throughout your essay. Use paragraphs effectively to differentiate your main points. Try to offer clear transitions between paragraphs that help guide the reader through your argument. This will strengthen the coherence of your essay.

coherence cohesion

Support your main points with specific examples or evidence. While you presented some examples, delve deeper into how these examples support your argument. Specific details will make your argument more convincing and your examples more illustrative.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

253 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

perseverance
tenacity
socioeconomic status
aesthetic standards
meritocracy
disparities
innate characteristics
equitable opportunities
success metrics
fortuitous circumstances

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Some people think that success in life comes from hard work and determination, while others think that there are more important factors such as money and appearance. Dicuss both views and give your opinion

Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try cooporate more rather that competing against each other. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

It is observed that in many countries not enough students are choosing to study science as a subject. What are the causes? And what will be the effects on society? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience.

Many people believe that women make better parents than men and that is why they have a greater role in raising children in most societies. Others claim that men are just as good as women at parenting. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

The restoration of old buildings in major cities around the world costs enormous amounts of money. This money would be better spent on providing new housing and road development. To what extent do you agree or disagree?