Nowadays, a large amount of advertising is aimed at children, so some people think there are lots of negative effects on children, and should ban it. To what extent you agree or disagree?

#amount #children #people #lots #effects #ban

There are 2 essential harmful effects of

over advertising

Add a hyphen

over-advertising

show examples

children

First,

children

might be more affected by advertisements than adults. Especially,

children

who

obsessed

Add a missing verb

are obsessed

show examples

with certain brands. They may want to purchase their favourite brand's new product when they see their advertisement.

Furthermore

, sometimes they can't control

theirselves

Correct your spelling

themselves

show examples

and they could start to force their parents to buy .

As a result

, a

big

Correct word choice

large

show examples

quantity of advertising can influence

children

towards want to buy a new

equipmant

Correct your spelling

equipment

and can

leads

Change the verb form

lead

show examples

to some disagreement with their parents.

Submitted by hsmkashi on Tue Mar 26 2024

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Task Achievement

Your essay should start with an introduction that paraphrases the question and presents a clear opinion. This helps set the context and direction for your essay.

Task Achievement

Develop your argument with more detailed examples and explanations. You mentioned the influence of advertising on children's desires but elaborating on the psychological or social implications can deepen your argument.

Coherence & Cohesion

Your essay lacks a conclusion that summarises your argument and reiterates your viewpoint. A conclusion is crucial for a round, complete essay.

Coherence & Cohesion

Organize your essay into clear paragraphs: an introduction, at least two body paragraphs each presenting a separate idea, followed by a conclusion. This helps with the logical flow and clarity.

Coherence & Cohesion

To improve coherence, make sure each paragraph flows naturally from one to the next. Use linking words and phrases like 'Firstly', 'In addition', 'Furthermore', and 'As a result' to create a seamless narrative.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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3Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

1 paragraphs

87 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Nowadays, a large amount of advertising is aimed at children, so some people think there are lots of negative effects on children, and should ban it. To what extent you agree or disagree?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

It is important for all towns and cities to have large public outdoor places like squares and parks. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Demand for food is increasing worldwide. What are the causes of this topic? What measures can the international community take to meet this demand?

You recently went on holiday and your friend lent you a travel guidebook. Write a letter to friend. In your letter: - tell your friend about the holiday - explain how the guidebook was helpful - say when and how you will return the guidebook

A long-distance flight consumes as much fuel as a car consumes in several years time, and causes the same amount of pollution as cars. So some people think we should abandon none essential flights and it is more efficient than restricting the car. To what extent do you agree or dis agree?