Some people think that success in life comes from hard work and determination, while others think that there are more important factors such as money and appearence. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #success #life #work #determination #factors #money #appearence

Many individuals think that successful

people

are hard-working and determined,

whereas

somes

Correct your spelling

some

believe that finance and

look

Fix the agreement mistake

looks

show examples

are more crucial.

This

writer

Change the verb form

agrees

show examples

agree

Add the preposition

agree on

agree to

agree with

show examples

the former idea because hard-working

people

can apply for a well-paid

job

while

someone

Correct your spelling

some

show examples

say that the latter is true

due to

job

requirement

Fix the agreement mistake

requirements

show examples

To begin

, the main reason why some

people

say successful

people

work hard

because

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is because

show examples

they can get

job

Fix the agreement mistake

jobs

show examples

which have a good salary. By way of

explaination

Correct your spelling

explanation

, students

which

Correct pronoun usage

who

show examples

have high scores

Change preposition

show examples

exams can go to good

university

Fix the agreement mistake

universities

show examples

and when students graduate, they can get a wonderful

job

which

give

Change the verb form

gives

show examples

them

much

Correct quantifier usage

apply

show examples

money.

Moreover

,we often listen to successful businessmen,how they started their careers which they do not admire,but ended up being so wealthy and relating

this

to their dedication and a lot of determination until they reach their passion.

Futhermore

Correct your spelling

Furthermore

, there are some who believe money is everything in life,it could make you famous and

Add a hyphen

well-known

show examples

well known

Add a hyphen

well-known

show examples

In addition

to being wealthy,being

good looking

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good-looking

show examples

also

leads you to the same.

Although

it is somehow correct ,in my opinion, there is much less chance of

this

.In

views

Fix the agreement mistake

view

show examples

this

,we rarely see a wealthy human who reaches their goal without being dedicated or

whereas

without working brutally before reaching

this

Besides

,being affluent without working will eventually lead to failure.

For example

,a businessman will never succeed only by being rich.

To sum up

,everything mentioned and both views are all keys to

reach

Wrong verb form

reaching

show examples

what you want.But in my opinion,it is all about passion and dedication rather than being

good looking

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good-looking

show examples

without working hard to succeed.

Tue Mar 26 2024

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Coherence and Cohesion

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Task Response

Make sure your essay directly addresses all parts of the task. Present a clearer position throughout your response, and ensure that the conclusion effectively summarizes your views and the reasons for them.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
21Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

257 words

4.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think that success in life comes from hard work and determination, while others think that there are more important factors such as money and appearence. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think is a positive or a negative development?

Some people believe that smoking cigarettes should be banned. On the other hand, there are those who disagree with this measure. Do you agree or disagree with the banning of cigarettes?

Some companies sponsor sports as a way to advertise themselves. Some people think it is good, while others think there are disadvantages to this. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

some people think it is better for children to grow up in the city,while,other thinks that life in the countryside is more suitable for them. discuss both views.