IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time to studying for a qualification. Discuss both views and give opinion.

#university #students #subjects #addition #time #qualification
A group of
students
 at universities present the view that they have the tendency to learn additional subjects simultaneously with main
courses
.
Whereas
, others think spending all their time and attention on required
courses
 for qualifications is more essential. I strongly agree with the former. On the one hand, some
students
 justifiably argue that life has many aspects and having knowledge and being aware of them are considerably beneficial.
Although
 It is necessary for everyone to have a certification to be able to be employed or earn a living by it, taking
courses
 with diverse
courses
 and learning from them is needed.
Moreover
, it is crucial for individuals to spend some time learning various skills or reading about something they are keen on to motivate them to continue.
On the other hand
 , the other group claims that the main aim of participating in universities is to become a master in a field and be certified. They insist that getting qualifications is the only task that the
students
 are responsible for.
However
, getting a degree from a university takes too long and it is illogical to expect the
students
 to just concentrate on field-related topics and be inactive in other ones which they may like or enjoy.
This
 expectation is likely to exhaust
students
 and lead them to lose their passion for pursuing their studies.
To conclude
, from my point of view, being active in
courses
 with different subjects
in addition
 to core
courses
 is necessary for university
students
 as they need to spend time on what
give
Change the verb form
gives
show examples
 them pleasure by studying and increasing their information on various fields.
Submitted by samira.nezhadamin on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
For better Task Response, ensure that your essay directly addresses the prompt in a balanced way. Be sure to present a clear opinion in the introduction and repeat it in the conclusion for emphasis. Include more specific examples and evidence to support your points.
Coherence Cohesion
In terms of Coherence and Cohesion, work on using a wider range of linking words and phrases to better connect your ideas. Try to structure your essay so that each paragraph logically flows to the next, ensuring that each paragraph has a clear central idea. Additionally, varying sentence structure can help improve readability and cohesion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: