Some people think that it is more beneficial to take part in team sports, like football. While other people think that taking part in individual sports is better, like swimming. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Some

people

Use synonyms

believe that

team

Use synonyms

sports

Use synonyms

are more valuable,

such

Linking Words

team

Use synonyms

working skill and competitive manner will

be enhance

Change the verb form

be enhanced

show examples

while

Linking Words

playing these kinds of

sports

Use synonyms

, others think that individual

sports

Use synonyms

are more essential because it encourages self-discipline and chance to push own boundary. I think both perspectives are valuable, and

people

Use synonyms

can choose

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

their own preferences. In my opinion, I

Add a missing verb

am more

show examples

keen on

to support

Change the verb form

supporting

show examples

individual

Use synonyms

sport

Fix the agreement mistake

sports

show examples

. On the one hand,

team

Use synonyms

sport

Fix the agreement mistake

sports

show examples

such

Linking Words

as football and basketball

are encouraged

Wrong verb form

encourage

show examples

Use synonyms

team working

Correct your spelling

teamwork

show examples

skills,

such

Linking Words

as collaboration and understanding others’

weakness

Fix the agreement mistake

weaknesses

show examples

and strengths, which are essential in our society.

For example

Linking Words

, in most secondary schools, basketball is highlighted in

main

Change the article

the main

show examples

curriculum of physical education subject because most pedagogies believe that teamwork is essential. Especially for

young

Add an article

the young

show examples

generation, these skills help them for their successful study.

However

Linking Words

, in my perspective, individual

sports

Use synonyms

are more beneficial.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, individual

sports

Use synonyms

have

own

Correct pronoun usage

their own

show examples

advantages

such

Linking Words

as encouraging individuals’ discipline and chance to

listen

Add the preposition

listen to

show examples

their own

mind

Fix the agreement mistake

minds

show examples

and

body

Fix the agreement mistake

bodies

show examples

. Because of these

reasons

Add a comma

reasons,

show examples

adults may be more interested in individual

Use synonyms

sport

Fix the agreement mistake

sports

show examples

rather than children, and it can give chance to

listen

Add the preposition

listen to

show examples

their body and mind

while

Linking Words

pushing their boundaries through

practicing

Change the spelling

practising

show examples

individual

Use synonyms

sport

Fix the agreement mistake

sports

show examples

For example

Linking Words

, in Mongolia, there is an increasing number of

people

Use synonyms

practicing

Change the spelling

practising

show examples

skiing because of its advantage of stress relieving. In my case, I more like to take part in individual

sports

Use synonyms

because of the reasons

that

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

mentioned above.

To conclude

Linking Words

team

Use synonyms

and individual

Use synonyms

Fix the agreement mistake

sports

show examples

sport

Fix the agreement mistake

sports

show examples

are both valuable and

people

Use synonyms

need to choose their own circumstances, in my opinion, individual

sports

Use synonyms

are more essential because

Correct pronoun usage

they

show examples

Correct pronoun usage

they

show examples

can be dedicated

self-time

Correct your spelling

time

show examples

this

Linking Words

busy lifestyle.

zulzayanyamkhuTue Mar 26 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

structure

Ensure a clear, logical structure throughout your essay. While your essay demonstrates a good overall structure, transitions between paragraphs could be smoother to enhance cohesion.

introduction/conclusion

Include a distinct introduction and conclusion. Your essay has these components, but making your thesis statement and concluding statement stronger and clearer will significantly improve your essay.

examples

Support your main points with more specific, clear examples. You provided examples, but adding more detailed and specific examples will enhance the depth and persuasiveness of your argument.

development

Address the task directly and develop your ideas comprehensively. You've addressed both views and your own opinion, but further elaboration on why you prefer individual sports, with more details and examples, could enhance your task achievement score.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
27
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

276 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

camaraderie
teamwork
leadership skills
social interactions
self-reliance
personal discipline
cooperative learning
peer motivation
flexible schedule
psychological benefits
collective achievements
sense of accomplishment
personal accountability
wellness goals
social interaction
personal mastery
solitary tendencies

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6.5
band
In recent years, tax collection has become a focal point of public attention, sparking extensive discussion, debate, and divergent opinions. Despite the complexity of this topic, I firmly advocate for this practice. This essay will delve into my viewpoints, providing a comprehensive analysis of the potential advantages and disadvantages associated with this trend.
In recent years, tax collection has become a focal point of public attention, sparking extensive discussion, debate, and divergent opinions. Despite the complexity of this topic, I firmly advocate for this practice. This essay will delve into my viewpoints, providing a comprehensive analysis of the potential advantages and disadvantages associated with this trend.
<4
band
Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
people are argued music is good way to conecting people from differences cultures and ages. I personaly angree, because it has been brought entertaiment and promotion culture by music.
5
band
What are the pros and cons of using public transport?
Nowadays, using a public transport is becoming increasingly popular. For many people, the usage it is so effective than utilizing a private vehicle. However, there are advantages and disadvantages related to it. In this essay, I will discuss some of the reasons why public transports are so popular and some of their drawbacks.
4
band
Some people believe that there should be fixed punishment for each type of crime. Others, however, argue that the circumstances of an individual crime, and the motivation for committing it, should always be taken into account when deciding on the punishment. discuss both views and give your opinion.
Some would argue that people who are criminals should be punished because they have broken the law, these penalties should be fixed for for each crime. while some others say this should be considered this crime for the motivation and the circumstances. I think that setting a single penalty for each type of crime will be a long process.
5
band
Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?
There are people in certain regions prefer herbal therapy rather than getting treatments from medical experts these days. I think this is a negative development since they are not sufficiently backed by scientific basis and not professionally supervised by certified professionals in medics.

Some people think that it is more beneficial to take part in team sports, like football. While other people think that taking part in individual sports is better, like swimming. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

What are the pros and cons of using public transport?

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?