Some people believe that reading stories form a book is better than watching tv or playing computer games for children to what extent do you agree or disagree.
Many
people
think children get more benefit from reading books
than playing video games or watching tv
. It is agreed that Correct your spelling
TV
books
could help learning
and making Change the verb form
to learn
good
habit for youth to develop Add an article
a good
perseverence
individuals in the Correct your spelling
perseverance
future
rather than spending times on watching television or computer games.
Books
contain a lot of knowledges
and give many advantages for a child to be a better adult in the Change the wording
knowledge
pieces of knowledge
bits of knowledge
future
. A certain category such
as personal development could illustrate and give a glimpse of how people
think and feel from
some life events like choosing the right career, how to manage Change preposition
about
time
, and many others. It will benefit people
who read this
Fix the agreement mistake
who
which
can learn without Correct pronoun usage
who
Correct article usage
the need
need
to experience Correct article usage
the need
before hand
. Correct your spelling
beforehand
For instance
, teenagers can practice what is the best way to manage their time
with a framework which could help them in the future
especially
in working life. Add the comma(s)
, especially
In addition
, it also
could help them to focus more and try to explore new things for every books
they read.
Entertainment is Change to a singular noun
book
the
new disease for young Correct article usage
a
people
. It is hard for them to control their behavior
. Change the spelling
behaviour
This
is because they still have low
awareness Correct article usage
a low
what
is bad and what is good for them. Other than that, today, parents Change preposition
of what
also
choose the easier way on
how to manage their son and daughter. Gadgets and smartphones are something common in modern society. Change preposition
apply
For example
, watching a YouTube video when eating their lunch or dinner is a
new normal, Correct article usage
the
otherwise
they do not want to eat at all and will cry until their parent Add a comma
otherwise,
give
their gadget back. Change the verb form
gives
Thus
, screen time
need
to be adjusted Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
accordingly
.
In conclusion, books
are better in terms of character development and good habit
. It Fix the agreement mistake
habits
offer
vast Change the verb form
offers
of
knowledge that could benefit them in the Change preposition
apply
future
. Although
it is hard for parents to limit screen time
for their children, it is necessary for them to do it in order to reduce their bad behavior
.Change the spelling
behaviour
Submitted by riki
on
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Task Achievement
Focus on a clear thesis statement in your introduction to guide the reader through your argument. It helps in establishing a strong position from the beginning.
Task Achievement
Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and that this idea is supported by specific examples or arguments. This will strengthen your support for each point.
Coherence and Cohesion
Enhance your essay's logical flow by improving transitions between sentences and paragraphs. Phrases like 'In addition,' 'For example,' and 'Thus' can help, but strive to make these connections smoother and more natural.
Coherence and Cohesion
Review and revise your conclusion to more effectively summarize your main points and reiterate your stance. A strong conclusion reinforces your overall argument.
Task Achievement
Pay attention to the precision of language and grammar. Even small mistakes can distract from the clarity and impact of your ideas. Consider sentence variety and accurate vocabulary to express nuances in your argument.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?