Some people think that success in life comes from hard work and determination,while other think that tere are more important factors such as money and appearance.Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #success #life #work #determination #tere #factors #money #appearance

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There are those who take the stand that successful

people

Use synonyms

result from them making effective plans,

while

Linking Words

others argue that other elements

such

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as diligence and fortune are more vital.

This

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essay will discuss both views and give my opinion. On the one hand, working hard with a lot of determination will eventually be the reason for reaching a goal but

this

Linking Words

needs lots of patience.

For example

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, many students in the world try to learn as much as possible to get into a

favorite

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favourite

show examples

university.

Moreover

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, we often listen to successful businessman, how they started their careers which they do not admire, but ended up being so wealthy and relating

this

Linking Words

to their dedication and lots of determination until they reach their passion.

On the other hand

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, there are some who believe

money

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and pretty looks are everything in life. It means that it could make

people

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more famous or could help

people

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to get some promotions and chances. It is fortunate that someone who are beautiful appearance

because

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

they

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

can easily

Fix the infinitive

apply

show examples

get

first

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a first

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impression, so they can simply gain many opportunities.

Additionally

Linking Words

people

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who are

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

rich,

they

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

can use their

money

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to create

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apply

show examples

success. It can be understandable that if a person is wealthy, they can use their

money

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to invest in some projects or to establish their own company. In my view, I predominantly agree with individuals who believe that success in life

come

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comes

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from hard work and determination because of

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apply

show examples

reliability. Actually,

money

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and

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

looks will not exist forever, so

instead

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of depending on

that

Correct determiner usage

those

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factors,

people

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should have a clear plan and hard work to achieve long-term success. In conclusion,

although

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both views

also

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have a benefit, in my opinion, it is all about passion and dedication rather than being good-looking without working hard to succeed.

Tue Mar 26 2024

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coherence cohesion

Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which is commendable. However, to further improve coherence and cohesion, consider using more varied linking words and phrases to ensure smoother transitions between ideas.

task achievement

For task achievement, you have effectively addressed the prompt, discussing both views and providing your personal opinion. To enhance this area, include more specific examples to support your arguments. This will add depth and relevance to your essay, making your points more convincing.

language use

Be mindful of minor grammatical errors and ensure verb tense consistency throughout your essay. Improving accuracy in language use will contribute positively to your overall score.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

306 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

multifaceted
determination
humble beginnings
long-term goals
influential networks
public image
societal standards
amplify opportunities
foundational
crucial
exemplifying

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Some people think that success in life comes from hard work and determination,while other think that tere are more important factors such as money and appearance.Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

people think that the government should ban dangerous sports.Others say that the society should be allowed to freely participate in any

Some say that music, art and drama are as important as other school subjects, especially at the primary level. Do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Many young children have unsupervised access to the internet and are using the internet to socialise with others. This can lead to a number of dangerous situations which can be threatening for children. What problems do children face when going online without parental supervision.