In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this case? What can be done about this problem?
Starvation is always an emergent issue which still cannot be solved despite
of
the development of types of equipment in the agricultural field. In my perspective, there are two main reasons that Change preposition
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this
essay.
First of all, poverty is one of the crucial reasons leading to be
hunger. Unnecessary verb
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is because of numerous populations who lack education, so it is difficult for them to look for a job to have savings, and then
they do not have sufficient money to afford their daily expense. These orders lead to the repercussions of famine though we are living in a modern society where the quantities of food
are produced enough to supply all over the world. We can tackle this
problem in many ways such
as giving the group of people who are illiterate the chance to go to school, teaching them how to use the advances to cultivate, so they can manufacture food
by themselves.
Besides
, we also
need to consider the phenomena of war which is happening in many parts of the world. Take the conflict between Russia and Ukraine, millions of residents in both countries lost their homes, their possesses. These citizens have to migrate, they can neither work nor have food
to maintain their lives. I read the news on a website before, it was written that the Russians would supply Ukrainians with food
but they need to follow Russian soldiers. In my point of view, i
think that the government should take responsibility for upgrading human awareness of peace through social media, education and so on.
To summarise, starvation is a challenge even recently when we innovated amount of advances which improve human life compared to the past .Even, Change the capitalization
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still cannot erase it immediately, Correct word choice
though we
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believe that if one day people Change the capitalization
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the whole earth cooperate, we will handle Change preposition
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Change preposition
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issue .Submitted by trangtrnh548 on
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coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which is good. However, your ideas could be more logically structured for the reader to follow more easily. Consider outlining your essay before writing and make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea and links back to your thesis.
task achievement
You provided reasons for starvation and suggestions for improvement, which is great. However, for a higher score, ensure that your points are fully developed and supported by more detailed examples. Also, directly addressing the question prompts is crucial. Consider dedicating one paragraph to each question part and providing more detailed examples to support your claims.
general
Pay attention to spelling, grammar, and sentence structure to enhance the clarity of your argument. Mistakes can distract from your argument and impact your score. Frequent practice and proofreading can help minimize these errors.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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