IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Write an essay discussing two of these factors, Getting the right qualifications or having the right Contacts , lead to success in life in your notes. You should explain which factor is more important in achieving success, giving reasons to support your answer.

#two #factors #right #qualifications #contacts #success #life #notes #factor #support
Success is something that many
people
 aspire to achieve, but only
few
Change the article
a few
show examples
managed
Wrong verb form
manage
show examples
 to succeed.
People
 have new
businesses
Change the noun form
business
show examples
 ideas with promising
future
Fix the agreement mistake
futures
show examples
 on paper,
however
Add a comma
however,
show examples
 most of those will never develop any
further
. There are different factors that could increase the probability for some of them to be successful.
On
Change preposition
In
show examples
this
essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
 I will explore what could make a bigger impact in the way to success, if having the
right
qualification
Fix the agreement mistake
qualifications
show examples
 or the
right
 contacts. Some
people
 would dispute that having the
right
 qualifications is the most important factor to
get
Verb problem
be
show examples
 successful. Education can give individuals skills that will be used to become one of the best in their field. The latest studies show that postgraduates in a science degree have 10 times more chances to create and run their own business, than those who have completed a humanity qualification.
However
, having the
right
 contacts and knowing the
right
people
 can open a lot of doors and opportunities.
On
Change preposition
In
show examples
 the current times, it is widely known that having an influential network is a must. I do believe that to be able to develop a good idea and to be able to put it into practice, you need support and advice from different professionals.
Therefore
, having the
right
 contact may be detrimental to
go
Wrong verb form
going
show examples
 far in life. In
conclusion
Add a comma
conclusion,
show examples
 not all talented and ambitious individuals would be able to step up and be successful in what they do.
Although
 having the
right
 qualifications may help in the process, I firmly believe that knowing the
right
people
 is key.
Submitted by olatzbaroja on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
Your essay skillfully addresses the prompt, presenting a clear stance on the importance of qualifications and contacts in achieving success. To enhance your task response, integrate more varied and specific examples to substantiate your claims more comprehensively.
Coherence and Cohesion
The logical structure of your essay is commendable, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Improve coherence by transitioning more smoothly between points and paragraphs. Use cohesive devices like 'Furthermore', 'In addition', and 'Consequently' to link ideas more explicitly.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!