Some people say that in all levels of education, from primary schools to university, too much time is spent on learning facts and not enough on learning practical skills. Do you agree or disagree?
Many believe that throughout the
education
system
from elementary school to the tertiary level, there is so much focus on imparting knowledge and not enough focus on teaching useful skills
to students
. I totally agree because students
need to be inculcated with more skills
to support their learning and also
their lives beyond school.
The main reason I agree is because more focus is needed on providing learning skills
. This
is because students
can learn everything more effectively if they are first provided with the right skills
to absorb knowledge. For example
, note-taking skills
should be taught at an early age so that students
are able to record and review important lessons that they receive throughout the education
system
.
Moreover
, I believe that practical skills
are essential for success in life, and the education
system
must prioritize their development. Practical skills
help students
apply their knowledge in real-world settings and improve their employability. For example
, a student who learns how to write a persuasive essay in English class can use this
skill to communicate effectively in the workplace or advocate for a cause they believe in. Practical skills
, such
as critical thinking, problem-solving, and collaboration, are crucial for success in any career.
In conclusion, the education
system
should prioritize the development of practical skills
, in addition
to learning facts. Practical skills
provide students
with the tools they need to succeed in the school system
and in life. By striking a balance between learning facts and practical skills
, the education
system
can create a well-rounded curriculum that prepares students
for success in the modern world.Submitted by amandacflago23 on
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Introduction
Your introduction clearly presents your standpoint on the importance of balancing learning facts and practical skills, which sets a solid foundation for your arguments.
Sentence Variation
Your essay would benefit from more varied sentence structures to enhance readability and engagement. Try integrating compound and complex sentences more frequently.
Examples
Consider integrating more diverse and specific examples to strengthen your argument further. While the essay examples are good, additional details or varied examples from different fields could add depth.
Coherence
To improve coherence, make sure each paragraph transitions smoothly into the next. Use linking words and phrases to show the relationship between paragraphs.
Conclusion
It's helpful to explicitly restate your thesis in the conclusion to reinforce your argument and provide a clear closure.
Task Response
You've effectively addressed the task, presenting a clear opinion and supporting it throughout the essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
Logical organisation of ideas with clear paragraphing shows good coherence and cohesion.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite