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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

#experts #children #language #school #outweigh
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According to
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 some specialists, learning a new language during primary education is more beneficial than learning it in secondary education. It is imperative to scrutinize the benefits and drawbacks of learning a second language in primary school.
This
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 essay will discuss all the benefits and drawbacks of
this
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 perspective. To commence, it is better to initiate learning different vocalizations from an early age
due to
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 the excellent grasping power of children and the amount of
burden
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 they have.
In other words
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, sophomores have better adaptability at an early age than at a later age.
Additionally
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, in the primary syllabus, students do not have a lot of
burden
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 of complex subjects,
such
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 as: Mathematics, History, Geography and Science. Which helps them focus on these
languages
Use synonyms
 clearly.
Nevertheless
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, during primary education babies have pure hearts;
therefore
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, they can learn new
languages
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 without fear of
judgements
Replace the word
judgment
show examples
.
On the other hand
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, teaching
languages
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 in primary schools will lead to an increase in the
burden
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 on the child and lower self-esteem. To explain, adding more subjects to the syllabus will increase the
burden
Use synonyms
 on children. More subjects mean they will have to study more, and
this
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 will lead to less playtime. Alternatively, if a child has difficulty learning those speeches, the morale of
this
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 child will go down, and they will feel less confident in their life. Lower confidence can affect their
further
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 life by mental illness like depression or anxiety attacks.
To conclude
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,
although
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studding
Correct your spelling
studying
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 foreign
languages
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have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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 some pitfalls like
increase
Correct article usage
an increase
show examples
 in
burden
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, and chances of lower self-esteem, advantages like more adaptability, time and
Correct article usage
a judgement
show examples
judgement free
Add a hyphen
judgement-free
show examples
 environment
outweighs
Change the verb form
outweigh
show examples
 the disadvantages.
Submitted by patel2dhruvil202 on

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Task Response
To enhance task response, ensure that you delve deeper into how each advantage and disadvantage directly relates to the question posed. Expand on your ideas with more detailed explanations and examples.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay would benefit from clearer and more varied transitions between ideas and paragraphs. This can be achieved by using a wider range of transition words and phrases to enhance flow and readability.
Task Response
Providing more specific examples to support your main points would strengthen your argument. This could involve citing studies, hypothetical scenarios, or real-world outcomes that directly relate to the advantages and disadvantages discussed.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • cognitive abilities
  • pronunciation
  • self-conscious
  • cultural awareness
  • global society
  • proficiency levels
  • competitive job market
  • foundational skills
  • qualified teachers
  • recreational activities
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