Most people try to balance between work and other part of lives. Unfortunately, not many achieve this balance. What are the problems and how can this situation be solved? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience

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Aplethora
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A plethora
of people try to balance between their work and
another activities
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another activity
other activities
show examples
of lives. Unluckily, not
lot
Correct article usage
a lot
show examples
of people can achieve
this
Linking Words
balance.
This
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essay will analyze some
reason
Use synonyms
and the solution to
tackleit
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tackle it
tackle
At the outset,
this
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issue causes by many various
pher
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other
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reason
Change to a plural noun
reasons
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. The
reason
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we need to be
concern
Wrong verb form
concerned
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. is that the time for working
is takes
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is taking
is taken
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our time very much. Pep Aluman can't have much time to.
doother
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do other
part
Fix the agreement mistake
parts
show examples
of their lives.
Secondly
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,
is
Verb problem
apply
show examples
the pressure
is affect
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affects
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people's
mind
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minds
show examples
. They have to work
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to be
show examples
tobe
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to be
show examples
Correct your spelling
successful
sacessful
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successful
as they want,
although
Linking Words
,
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it's
it'ts
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it is
verejtoring
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restoring
Correct your spelling
is led
isled
Verb problem
apply
show examples
to lose their health and other
experience
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experiences
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of their life. The For that
reason
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,
we
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
I will address
raisepeople's
Correct your spelling
raise people's
some solution to tackle it.
Firstly
Linking Words
, we need to be
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coherence cohesion
Organize your ideas more logically and use paragraphs appropriately. Your essay lacks clear structure, making it hard to follow. Consider using an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion to better organize your thoughts.
task achievement
Use clear and relevant examples to support your main points. Your essay needs more specific examples to effectively illustrate the problems and solutions related to work-life balance.
language accuracy
Pay attention to spelling, grammar, and punctuation. Errors in these areas make your essay difficult to understand and can detract from your overall message.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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