IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 1

Most people try to balance between work and other part of lives. Unfortunately, not many achieve this balance. What are the problems and how can this situation be solved? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience

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Introduction
Aplethora
Correct your spelling
A plethora
 of people try to balance between their work and
another activities
Replace the adjective
another activity
other activities
show examples
 of lives. Unluckily, not
lot
Correct article usage
a lot
show examples
 of people can achieve
this
Linking Words
 balance.
This
Linking Words
 essay will analyze some
reason
Use synonyms
 and the solution to
tackleit
Correct your spelling
tackle it
tackle
Body paragraph 1
At the outset,
this
Linking Words
 issue causes by many various
pher
Correct your spelling
other
Use synonyms
reason
Change to a plural noun
reasons
show examples
. The
reason
Use synonyms
 we need to be
concern
Wrong verb form
concerned
show examples
. is that the time for working
is takes
Change the verb form
is taking
is taken
show examples
 our time very much. Pep Aluman can't have much time to.
doother
Correct your spelling
do other
part
Fix the agreement mistake
parts
show examples
 of their lives.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
is
Verb problem
apply
show examples
the pressure
is affect
Change the verb form
affects
show examples
 people's
mind
Fix the agreement mistake
minds
show examples
. They have to work
Correct your spelling
to be
show examples
tobe
Correct your spelling
to be
show examples
Correct your spelling
successful
sacessful
Correct your spelling
successful
 as they want,
although
Linking Words
,
Correct your spelling
it's
it'ts
Correct your spelling
it is
verejtoring
Correct your spelling
restoring
Correct your spelling
is led
isled
Verb problem
apply
show examples
to lose their health and other
experience
Fix the agreement mistake
experiences
show examples
 of
Body paragraph 2
their life.
Body paragraph 3
The For that
reason
Use synonyms
,
we
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
I will address
Conclusion
raisepeople's
Correct your spelling
raise people's
 some solution to tackle it.
Firstly
Linking Words
, we need to be

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coherence cohesion
Organize your ideas more logically and use paragraphs appropriately. Your essay lacks clear structure, making it hard to follow. Consider using an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion to better organize your thoughts.
task achievement
Use clear and relevant examples to support your main points. Your essay needs more specific examples to effectively illustrate the problems and solutions related to work-life balance.
language accuracy
Pay attention to spelling, grammar, and punctuation. Errors in these areas make your essay difficult to understand and can detract from your overall message.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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