Most people try to balance between work and other part of lives. Unfortunately, not many achieve this balance. What are the problems and how can this situation be solved? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience
our time very much. Pep Aluman can't have much time to.
doother
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do other
part
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parts
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of their lives.
Secondly
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,
is
Verb problem
apply
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the pressure
is affect
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affects
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people's
mind
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minds
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. They have to work
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to be
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tobe
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to be
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successful
sacessful
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successful
as they want,
although
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,
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it's
it'ts
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it is
verejtoring
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restoring
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is led
isled
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apply
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to lose their health and other
experience
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experiences
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of
Body paragraph 2
their life.
Body paragraph 3
The For that
reason
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,
we
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apply
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I will address
Conclusion
raisepeople's
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raise people's
some solution to tackle it.
Firstly
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, we need to be
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coherence cohesion
Organize your ideas more logically and use paragraphs appropriately. Your essay lacks clear structure, making it hard to follow. Consider using an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion to better organize your thoughts.
task achievement
Use clear and relevant examples to support your main points. Your essay needs more specific examples to effectively illustrate the problems and solutions related to work-life balance.
language accuracy
Pay attention to spelling, grammar, and punctuation. Errors in these areas make your essay difficult to understand and can detract from your overall message.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
Paragraph 1 - Introduction
Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion
Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion
Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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