In some countries, there has been an increase in the number of parents who educate their children themselves at home instead of sending them to school. Do you think the advantages of this overweigh the disadvantages?
It has been argued that
children
should be educated by their parents
at home
instead
of going to school
. While
I accept educating
at Replace the word
education
home
is beneficial for children
, I believe that it has more negative impacts on their lives.
Experts are of the view that if children
are educated by their parents
, they can be taught according to
their abilities because parents
are more aware of their children
's capabilities. Some psychologists also
prove that children
who are taught at home
have flexible class schedules, so their classes are formed when they are ready to study and they are not forced to attend when they are exhausted and disinterested. For example
, the results of a survey which was done by University
of TehranCorrect article usage
the University
,
indicated that almost Remove the comma
apply
three-fifth
of Correct your spelling
three-fifths
parents
believe that their children
cannot go to school
in morning
because they are sleepy, so they prefer to educate them at Add an article
the morning
home
.
However
, I would argue that drawbacks
of Correct article usage
the drawbacks
home schooling
are more than Correct your spelling
homeschooling
its
Correct pronoun usage
apply
beneficial
. Replace the word
benefits
According to
some analyzers children
who stay at home
for educating
and do not go to Replace the word
education
school
, cannot improve their communication skills. Therefore
, they have more challenges at their work place
and Correct your spelling
workplace
also
with their spouses in adulthood. Another significant reason could be maintained that all parents
are not educated, so they cannot help their children
how to study their lessons. For instance
, according
a survey in a local Add the preposition
according to
school
in Tehran, three-quarter
of Fix the agreement mistake
three-quarters
parents
emphasized that they cannot help their children
in math and science and they have to employee
a tutor.
In conclusion, Replace the word
employ
although
some people believe that children
can learn much more
better at Change the word
apply
home
, from
my opinion, Change preposition
in
home schooling
has Correct your spelling
homeschooling
numerus
disadvantages because in Correct your spelling
numerous
this
way some proficiencies such
as communication skills never grow up and also
some parents
have problems to teach
their kids.Change the verb form
teaching
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Task Achievement
To improve your Task Achievement, make sure that your essay fully addresses all parts of the task. You need to present a clearer opinion on whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages and ensure that your conclusion summarises this effectively.
Coherence and Cohesion
In terms of Coherence and Cohesion, ensure that your ideas flow logically from one paragraph to the next. Using a wider range of cohesive devices and transition words can help to clarify the relationship between ideas.
Coherence and Cohesion
For supporting your main points, try to incorporate a wider range of examples and evidence. While the examples provided are relevant, adding more varied and detailed instances can strengthen your arguments.