The internet has transformed the way information is shared and consumed, but it has also created problems that did not exist before. What are the most serious problems associated with the internet and what are the possible solutions?

#internet #information

One of the widely discussed

issue

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issues

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nowadays is that the Internet has not just benefits but

also

negative sides. The

exist

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existing

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problem is Internet fishing

websites

with bad consequences and the most viable solution is

Remove the article

apply

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strict government supervision over suspicious

websites

and apps. The principal problem

relating

Wrong verb form

relates

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to special

websites

which can lead to detrimental situations

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show examples

Add an article

a persons

show examples

persons

Change noun form

person's

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life when their

money

might be taken away dishonestly. These sites are able to steal your personal data

such

as login, password or even to get access to your credit card

throw

Correct your spelling

through

show examples

hacking. Resulting in losing

money

, or inability

of having

Change preposition

to have

show examples

Remove the article

apply

show examples

access to your personal pages on social networking.

For instance

according to

the latest report by the Ministry of Internal

affairs

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Affairs

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over 58% of

total

Add an article

the total

show examples

population used fishing sites once where they you can observe that someone withdrew their

money

. To tackle

this

problem the government should be involved in implementing strict measures to identify and block

such

online threats.

This

means some malicious online pages must be banned under government supervision as soon as special artificial intelligence software

detected

Wrong verb form

detects

show examples

any of them.

Also

, State representatives can create a list of

such

swindling

websites

to warn people.

For example

, Almost, every fifth person in Kazakhstan

were

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was

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taken by

such

websites

and applications two years ago,

however

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however,

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some promotional videos have been created to alert people and

such

cases

has

Correct subject-verb agreement

have

show examples

declined

considerable

Change the adjective

considerably

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since

then

. In conclusion, in spite of

brilliant

Correct article usage

the brilliant

show examples

help of digital sources for

humans

Add a comma

humans,

show examples

there are

also

several negative consequences as unknown and suspicious pages where citizens can be cheated for

money

online. The solution is when officials take under control social

medias

Correct your spelling

media

show examples

which can cause negative

money matter

Add a hyphen

money-matter

show examples

consequences.

Submitted by akzharkynzhamal on Wed Mar 27 2024

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Introduction Development

Clarify and expand your introduction for a more impactful beginning. Introduce your argument and outline the problems and solutions you will discuss to guide the reader.

Coherence and Linking

To enhance coherence, focus on connecting your ideas more clearly using transition phrases. Each paragraph should flow logically to the next, helping the reader follow your argumentation easily.

Cohesion and Structure

Enhance cohesion by using a wider range of linking devices and topic sentences that clearly state the main idea of each paragraph. This will strengthen the overall structure of your essay.

Task Response

To fully address the task, ensure that you cover all aspects of the question. While you've discussed problems and solutions, reflecting on the implications of these and considering counterarguments could provide a more rounded response.

Supporting Examples

Provide more detailed examples to support your points. While you've included one example, expanding on this with further detail or adding additional examples will strengthen your argument and make your essay more persuasive.

Your opinion

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If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
21Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

282 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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The internet has transformed the way information is shared and consumed, but it has also created problems that did not exist before. What are the most serious problems associated with the internet and what are the possible solutions?

Your opinion

Another negative impact is a trend that can create a negative work environment. For example, although younger employees have an advantage over older workers in terms of adapting to new technologies, older people usually

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicine and treatment instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is positive or a negative development?

Group or team activities can teach more important skills for life than those activities which are done alone.

Some people work for the same organisation all their working life. Others think that it is better to work for different organisations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Increasing the price of petrol is the best way to solve growing traffic and pollution problems.