The internet has transformed the way information is shared and consumed, but it has also created problems that did not exist before. What are the most serious problems associated with the internet and what are the possible solutions?

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One of the widely discussed
issue
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issues
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nowadays is that the Internet has not just benefits but
also
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negative sides. The
exist
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existing
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problem is Internet fishing
websites
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with bad consequences and the most viable solution is
a
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apply
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strict government supervision over suspicious
websites
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and apps. The principal problem
relating
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relates
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to special
websites
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which can lead to detrimental situations
of
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in
show examples
Add an article
a persons
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persons
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person's
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life when their
money
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might be taken away dishonestly. These sites are able to steal your personal data
such
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as login, password or even to get access to your credit card
throw
Correct your spelling
through
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hacking. Resulting in losing
money
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, or inability
of having
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to have
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an
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apply
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access to your personal pages on social networking.
For instance
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,
according to
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the latest report by the Ministry of Internal
affairs
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Affairs
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over 58% of
total
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the total
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population used fishing sites once where they you can observe that someone withdrew their
money
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. To tackle
this
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problem the government should be involved in implementing strict measures to identify and block
such
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online threats.
This
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means some malicious online pages must be banned under government supervision as soon as special artificial intelligence software
detected
Wrong verb form
detects
show examples
any of them.
Also
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, State representatives can create a list of
such
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swindling
websites
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to warn people.
For example
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, Almost, every fifth person in Kazakhstan
were
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was
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taken by
such
Linking Words
websites
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and applications two years ago,
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however
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however,
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some promotional videos have been created to alert people and
such
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cases
has
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have
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declined
considerable
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considerably
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since
then
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. In conclusion, in spite of
brilliant
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the brilliant
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help of digital sources for
humans
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humans,
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there are
also
Linking Words
several negative consequences as unknown and suspicious pages where citizens can be cheated for
money
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online. The solution is when officials take under control social
medias
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media
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which can cause negative
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money matter
Add a hyphen
money-matter
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consequences.
Submitted by akzharkynzhamal on

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Introduction Development
Clarify and expand your introduction for a more impactful beginning. Introduce your argument and outline the problems and solutions you will discuss to guide the reader.
Coherence and Linking
To enhance coherence, focus on connecting your ideas more clearly using transition phrases. Each paragraph should flow logically to the next, helping the reader follow your argumentation easily.
Cohesion and Structure
Enhance cohesion by using a wider range of linking devices and topic sentences that clearly state the main idea of each paragraph. This will strengthen the overall structure of your essay.
Task Response
To fully address the task, ensure that you cover all aspects of the question. While you've discussed problems and solutions, reflecting on the implications of these and considering counterarguments could provide a more rounded response.
Supporting Examples
Provide more detailed examples to support your points. While you've included one example, expanding on this with further detail or adding additional examples will strengthen your argument and make your essay more persuasive.

Your opinion

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • cybersecurity
  • phishing
  • identity theft
  • misinformation
  • fake news
  • social isolation
  • internet addiction
  • data privacy
  • digital literacy
  • regulations
  • awareness programs
  • manipulate
  • proliferation
  • consent
  • escalated
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