IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

some people believe that the development of artificial intelligence will make human labour obsolete. others think that work performed by humans will always be important. discuss both view and ur own opinion

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While
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 some argue that AI's development will render human
work
Use synonyms
 unnecessary, others contend that the significance of tasks performed by humans will endure.
This
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 essay will discuss both perspectives before presenting a personal viewpoint on the subject. On one hand, advocates of the notion that AI will make human
labor
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labour
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 obsolete suggest that the rapid advancement of technology could lead to automation replacing numerous jobs. They argue that AI's ability to perform tasks efficiently and accurately poses a threat to traditional human roles.
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However
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However,
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i
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I
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 do not agree with
this
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 view. AI cannot replicate human qualities like creativity, emotional intelligence, and nuanced decision-making remain essential in certain professions.
For instance
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, professions
such
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 as
counseling
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counselling
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, artistry, and leadership heavily rely on human attributes that AI cannot effectively emulate.
On the other hand
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, those who believe in the enduring importance of human
work
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 point out that AI lacks certain qualities essential for many roles. And
i
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I
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 totally agree with
this
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 view. Because some jobs need empathy, intuition, and complex human interaction will remain largely in the domain of humans.
For example
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, jobs in caregiving, social
work
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, and creative arts rely heavily on the uniquely human ability to connect emotionally and empathetically with others. In conclusion,
i
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I
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 want to say,
no
Correct word choice
that no
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 matter what, human
work
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 will always be superior to robot
work
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. The ability of humans to bring emotional intelligence and creativity to the workplace sets them apart from AI.

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coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, work on creating a more logical structure within your essay. This can be done by organizing your ideas more clearly, using paragraphs to separate different points, and making sure your essay flows seamlessly from one idea to the next.
coherence cohesion
Ensure your introduction and conclusion are clearly defined. The introduction should outline what you plan to discuss, and the conclusion should neatly wrap up your arguments, giving a final opinion.
coherence cohesion
Provide more specific examples to support your main points. This will help make your arguments more convincing and give more substance to your essay. Try to include at least one specific example per argument.
task achievement
Aim for a more complete response to the essay question. This means fully discussing both views presented in the prompt before giving your own opinion. You could expand on the implications of AI development and how it contrasts with the value of human labor more specifically.
task achievement
Work on developing clear and comprehensive ideas. This involves presenting your arguments in a way that is easy to understand, using appropriate support (examples, facts, etc.), and ensuring your reasoning is sound and follows a logical flow.
task achievement
Include more relevant and specific examples to support your arguments. These examples help to illustrate your points and make your essay more interesting and persuasive. Ensure that the examples are directly related to the points you are making.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • automation
  • productivity
  • efficiency
  • accuracy
  • creativity
  • emotional intelligence
  • personal interaction
  • empathy
  • obsolete
  • insight
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