Many people believe that modern music can have a negative impact on the young. Others believe the effect of modern music is positive. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

Some folk say that melody can spoil the new
generation
,
on the other
hand
Add the comma(s)
hand,
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melody has a good impact. In the following paragraphs, I will discuss both these lines and will give my opinion.
To begin
with,
according to
the first group
of
Change preposition
apply
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public opera can have a negative impact on modern
society
, When young children listen to new-era songs they follow that in their practical lifestyle, and they try to imitate the rock.
For example
, if there are lyrics about drugs or any abusive words about
society
they do the same,
new
Correct article usage
The new
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generation
also
take
Correct subject-verb agreement
takes
show examples
drugs and
then
they try to commit the wrong things in the world and that leaves them with no choice but to live on the earth. On the other way, singing is the best therapy for
society
because they assume that it can heal some public if they are heartbroken or something bad happened to them.
For instance
,
soul
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the soul
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is a language for some population which can turn a bad day into a good day and a spoiled man into a truthful man. tune can heal a depressed person and it can cherish some nation without any cost. whenever there is a function or any party at home
society
celebrates it by putting some songs on the computer and they cherish that movement. In the end, I believe that opera has a good response on today's
generation
because it heals the mental health of individuals who are struggling with their busy lives and
also
it gives a break to the mind to cherish the present movements. So,
piece
Add an article
the piece
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is an important part of today's
generation
Submitted by jatinderpanaich328 on

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task achievement
Make sure to directly address the essay prompt in your introduction. Instead of using vague terms like 'melody' or 'opera', be clear about the topic—modern music—and its impact.
task achievement
Improve the clarity of your main points by using more precise language. Avoid synonyms that don't fit the context, such as replacing 'music' with 'opera' or 'tune'. This will make your argument clearer to the reader.
task achievement
To strengthen your essay, provide clear and specific examples that directly support your claims. Avoid generalizations and ensure that your examples are directly relevant to the impact of modern music.
coherence cohesion
Work on the logical structure by clearly separating paragraphs with one main idea each. Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that states the main idea followed by supporting sentences.
coherence cohesion
Ensure your conclusion summarizes your main points and restates your opinion clearly. This helps to strengthen the coherence between your introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Improve transition between paragraphs and within them by using a variety of linking words and phrases that show contrast, addition, cause, and effect. This will help the flow of your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • lifestyles and behaviours
  • glorify
  • distract
  • academic performance
  • self-expression
  • identity formation
  • source of inspiration
  • social and political messages
  • amplifying
  • accessible
  • influential
  • parental and educational guidance
  • critically analyze
  • responsible consumption
  • mitigate
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