The charts show the Australian school leavers did immediately after leaving secondary school.

The charts show the Australian school leavers did immediately after leaving secondary school.
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The charts show the statistics of Australian
school
Use synonyms
leavers' career path after graduating from secondary
school
Use synonyms
. The information was provided for 3 specific years which are 1980, 1990 and 2000. There are three different types of what those ex-students did
instead
Linking Words
of studying in high
school
Use synonyms
. The red section presents those who were employed. Meanwhile, the blue and green parts represent the portion of the unemployed group and people who continued
further
Linking Words
education respectively. In those three years, the majority of
school
Use synonyms
leavers were employed and it's portion came with an increasing trend starting from 40% in 1980 raised up to 55% in 2000.
This
Linking Words
is caused by changes in businesses' recruitment criteria which allow and offer opportunities to whoever has knowledge and is capable of their job. A degree from a university was not required anymore.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the
further
Linking Words
education portion decreased constantly from 50% to 37%.
Lastly
Linking Words
, the unemployed group had the smallest numbers and it fluctuated during the period.
Submitted by Punpun on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "further".
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 80%.
Vocabulary: Replace the words school with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "show" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • tertiary education
  • vocational training institutions
  • competitive job market
  • skilled professionals
  • workforce
  • practical work experience
  • employment opportunities
  • gap year
  • volunteer work
  • personal development
  • formal education
  • online courses
  • part-time studies
  • continuous learning
  • unemployment
  • career guidance
  • support services
  • informed decisions
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