The charts show the Australian school leavers did immediately after leaving secondary school.

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The charts show the statistics of Australian

school

Use synonyms

leavers' career path after graduating from secondary

school

Use synonyms

. The information was provided for 3 specific years which are 1980, 1990 and 2000. There are three different types of what those ex-students did

instead

Linking Words

of studying in high

school

Use synonyms

. The red section presents those who were employed. Meanwhile, the blue and green parts represent the portion of the unemployed group and people who continued

further

Linking Words

education respectively. In those three years, the majority of

school

Use synonyms

leavers were employed and it's portion came with an increasing trend starting from 40% in 1980 raised up to 55% in 2000.

This

Linking Words

is caused by changes in businesses' recruitment criteria which allow and offer opportunities to whoever has knowledge and is capable of their job. A degree from a university was not required anymore.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, the

further

Linking Words

education portion decreased constantly from 50% to 37%.

Lastly

Linking Words

, the unemployed group had the smallest numbers and it fluctuated during the period.

PunpunWed Mar 27 2024

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "further".

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.

Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 80%.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words school with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "show" in your introduction.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.

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5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

3 paragraphs

165 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

tertiary education
vocational training institutions
competitive job market
skilled professionals
workforce
practical work experience
employment opportunities
gap year
volunteer work
personal development
formal education
online courses
part-time studies
continuous learning
unemployment
career guidance
support services
informed decisions

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The charts show the Australian school leavers did immediately after leaving secondary school.

More and more children are becoming obese. What are the causes of this and what are the solutions?

Many people today are worried about the large quantities of waste produced by ordinary households. What problems are caused by household waste, and what solutions may be possible in both the short and the long term?

Countries around the world will be facing significant challenges relating not only to the environment, but population and education as well. What problems will your country face in the next ten years? How can these problems be overcome?

Some people think that the government should offer financial support and care to old people, while others think people should save money for their future life. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people believe that a job provides both income and for a social life, while others think that friends should be made outside of work. Discuss both views and give your opinion.