Some people think that success in life comes dom hard work and determination, while others think that there are more imrotant factors such as money and appearance.Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Some people harbour a belief that hard
work
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and determination can contribute to success in
life
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, whilst others hold the reverse viewpoint that there are
oter
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other

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factors
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such
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as
money
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

and appearance. From my
perpective
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perspective

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,
i
Change the capitalization
I

The pronoun I should always be capitalized.

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am inclined to stand neutrally with both opinions since the mentioned
factors
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are equally important to a healthy
life
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.
Initially
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, one of the main arguments in favour of hard
work
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and determination is that achievements at
work
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easily elevate
oe's
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one's

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confidence since her abilities are recognized by companies.
Therefore
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, hard
work
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

and determination will provide individuals with goals to achieve which will lead to a sense of accomplishment.
Moreover
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, when employees spontaneously set high standards at
work
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, they
ave
Correct your spelling
have

The word ave doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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higher potential than others to gain promotion which will lead to progress in their
socioconomic
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socioeconomic

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satus
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status

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.
Hence
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, hard
work
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

and ambitions will make people improve and feel recognized in their careers. At the other end of the spectrum,
money
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

and appearance are vital to
buld
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build

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up confidence and have a high quality of
life
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
Although
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

people usually say"You cannot judge a book by its cover", it cannot be denied that good-looking is able to make individuals feel pleasant and enhance personal confidence. When a person does not need to worry about
money
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
Money
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

provides
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals

It seems that individual may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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with
life
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

possibilites
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possibilities

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as
the
Correct your spelling
they

The word the doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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have chances to choose the
lfestyles
Correct your spelling
lifestyles
lifestyle

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they prefer.
Thus
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,the two
factors
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can directly uplift one's self-recognition.
To sum up
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, despite the fact
tat
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that

The word tat doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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hard
work
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and ambition have
indespensable
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indispensable

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roles to play in one's
life
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

, the satisfaction from
money
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

and appearance cannot be denied.
Hence
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the listed
factors
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

are equally crucial to balanced
life
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

development.

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Logical Structure
Ensure that your essay has a clear overall structure, introducing your topic, discussing each viewpoint, and concluding with your own perspective. Consider using clearer paragraphing to separate different points.
Introduction and Conclusion
Introduce your essay and its main points in the opening paragraph and provide a concise summary and personal viewpoint in the conclusion to strengthen the presence of these sections.
Supported Main Points
Support your main points with specific examples or evidence. Consider incorporating statistics, studies, or personal anecdotes to make your argument more compelling.
Complete Response
Address the task by discussing both viewpoints and providing your own opinion. Make sure to cover all aspects of the prompt in sufficient depth.
Clear and Comprehensive Ideas
Strive for clarity and depth in presenting your ideas. Use topic sentences effectively to introduce each paragraph and develop your points clearly and comprehensively.
Relevant Specific Examples
Include more detailed and specific examples to support your arguments. These could be drawn from your own experience, historical examples, or contemporary situations.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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