Some people think that success in life comes from hard work and determination while other think that there are more important factors such as money and appearance. Discuss both view and give your opinion.

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Appearance
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and
money
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are regarded as a crucial part of success,
while
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there
are
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is
show examples
some
oppostion
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opposition
concern
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concerns
show examples
that determination and
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hardwork
Correct your spelling
hard work
are way
more
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apply
show examples
better.
This
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writer is choosing the sides of
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hardwork
Correct your spelling
hard work
and
passion
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and
give
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gives
show examples
some evidence
to
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of
show examples
this
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.
Money
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and
appearance
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,
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
are important to a successful career or
work
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, as they offer the opportunity
on
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for
show examples
jobs and wealth. With
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
nice
appearance
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,
people
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can gain the first impression in interviews so that they get more attention and
chance
Correct article usage
a chance
show examples
to be hired, and, if
people
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do have
money
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, loads of
money
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, they
don
Correct your spelling
do
show examples
not have to worry about
lacking
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lack
show examples
of profits. With these states,
people
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can
involve
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involved
show examples
in lots of
work
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and jobs which require
a huge advantages
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huge advantages
a huge advantage
show examples
from
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apply
show examples
these
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
.
For example
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, if you are handsome and have
alots
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lots
a lot
of
money
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, you can be a singer. Turning to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
passion
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and
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hardwork
Correct your spelling
hard work
, which come in both, and
be
Wrong verb form
being
show examples
concerned by
people
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as
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apply
show examples
an important states of
sucess
Correct your spelling
success
.
With out
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Without
show examples
the
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hardwork
Correct your spelling
hard work
and dedication,
people
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can not have
motivation
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the motivation
show examples
to
work
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on their trip to success, they can not even gain experience because they show no interest in what they are doing.
This
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consquence
Correct your spelling
consequence
in
Correct your spelling
is
show examples
that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
passion
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and
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hardwork
Correct your spelling
hard work
are very important for
such
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success.
Taking
Wrong verb form
Take
show examples
Pagani
for example
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, a very determined
business
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businessman
show examples
man
finding
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found
show examples
his own car company and
be
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
refered
Correct your spelling
referred
revered
as
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to as
show examples
the most famous car dealer and maker in the world for his dedication and passionate process. Taking all
point
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points
show examples
into account,
money
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and
appearance
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which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
are important to a successful career or
work
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but above
of
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apply
show examples
that
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is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
passion
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and
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hardwork
Correct your spelling
hard work
are a crucial part of
sucess
Correct your spelling
success
as it gives
people
Use synonyms
the motivation
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
work
Use synonyms
for sure.
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Introduction & Conclusion
Ensure you have a clear introduction that presents the topic effectively and introduces your main point. Your conclusion should summarize your arguments and clearly state your opinion.
Paragraph Structure
Organize your essay into clear paragraphs, each with a single main idea. Start each paragraph with a topic sentence that states the main idea of the paragraph.
Supporting Examples
Provide more detailed examples to support your points. Specific examples make your argument stronger and more convincing.
Task Response
Make sure your essay directly addresses all parts of the task. It should discuss both views and clearly state your own opinion.
Grammar & Vocabulary
Work on your grammar and vocabulary to ensure your ideas are expressed clearly and accurately.
Linking Words and Phrases
Link your ideas and paragraphs more effectively. Use a wider range of linking words and phrases to demonstrate the relationships between your ideas.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • perseverance
  • discipline
  • resilience
  • effort
  • tenacity
  • external factors
  • financial resources
  • favorable appearance
  • perceptions
  • advantages
  • intrinsic
  • extrinsic
  • sustainable
  • facilitating
  • undeniable
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