Some people think that children should study formal learning at school as young as possible. Others believe they should not go to school until they are at least 7. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Nowadays,
parents
let theit chinldren
go to school as young as possible as the number of double-income Correct your spelling
their children
family
is increasing. There is an ongoing issue regarding the proper time to go Change to a plural noun
families
education
facilities Change preposition
to education
such
as kindergarden
or academies.
Some people assert that Correct your spelling
kindergarten
kindergartens
education
before 7 years old is too early for children
. Education
centers
have detrimental effects on Change the spelling
centres
children
by making less bond between parents
and kids. The children
who go to kindergardens
or the Correct your spelling
kindergartens
kindergarten
center
which Change the spelling
centre
taking
care of them are used to Wrong verb form
takes
more close
to teachers than their Replace the words
closer
parents
. A study by National Tsing Hua University suggest
the time when they are 1 to 6 years old is Change the verb form
suggests
imperative
period to form Correct article usage
an imperative
fellowship
with Add an article
a fellowship
parents
. Moreover
, some parents
think it is not reliable to leave their kides
because Correct your spelling
kids
parents
can not monitor their childrens
constantly.
Correct your spelling
children
children's
On the other hand
, some people presume that kindergarden
is helpful Correct your spelling
kindergarten
to improve
their Change preposition
in improving
socializing
skills and Replace the word
social
develop
their Wrong verb form
developing
sense
variously. They can talk with more people in Fix the agreement mistake
senses
kindergarden
than when they are at home and teachers help them learn various words. Correct your spelling
kindergarten
Thus
, it would be helpful to prepare before attending to
primary Change preposition
apply
schools
. Fix the agreement mistake
school
Furthermore
, the teachers are professional so they already know how to look after and teach them. I agree that the
informal Correct article usage
apply
education
facilities have a lot of ideal effects to
Change preposition
on
children
. It is true with the fact that they can enjoy more various activities when they attend to
informal learning academies.
In conclusion, I believe that the additional academics for kids have numerous benefits. Change preposition
apply
Although
,
it would cause Remove the comma
apply
lack
of bond with Correct article usage
a lack
parents
, the parents
can more concentrate on their jobs.Submitted by heoeunsae on
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Task Achievement
Start by providing a clearer introduction to the topic. The introduction should clearly present the two views and your stance on the issue.
Task Achievement
Develop each argument with more specific and relevant examples. This strengthens your points and makes the essay more convincing.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure your essay follows a logical structure. Each paragraph should focus on one main idea, and this idea should be clearly stated in the first sentence of the paragraph.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use linking words and phrases (e.g., however, in addition, therefore) to better connect your ideas and enhance the flow of the essay.
General Advice
Proofread your essay to correct spelling and grammar mistakes. Simple errors can detract significantly from the quality of your writing.
Coherence and Cohesion
Try to conclude your essay by summarizing the main points discussed and reiterating your own perspective, providing a clear, succinct ending to your discussion.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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