Some people think that success in life comes from hard work and determination, while others think that there are more important factors such as money and appearance. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #success #life #work #determination #factors #money #appearance

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The majority of

people

believe that working hard and determining are helpful to life,

while

others say that it is more significant issues like

money

and physical

appearance

This

writer is of the opinion that the former choice is the option. The reason why I agree with the former choice is that hard

work

or determination can overcome arduous challenges.

This

is true because,

people

who

work

determinedly can create motivation for

work

every day, thereby working in a comfortable and confident mood.

Consequently

this

helps them be steadfast when facing difficult decisions and increases efficiency in

work

success

in life will come.

For example

, all over the world

has

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

many billionaires achieve

success

because they have determination and

work

hard non-stop. Another point worth considering is that having

money

and possessing a beautiful

appearance

can bring benefits for the future. The reason is that when

people

who have

money

appearance

can make a first impression on others, cooperate based on each other's interests.

As a result

, many beneficial conditions will be given and bring wealth and

success

in life.

Besides

success

will easily collapse if

people

no longer have any useful value. In conclusion, having

much

Correct quantifier usage

a lot of

show examples

money

and

appearance

has a variety of benefits

bacause

Correct your spelling

because

human can cooperate and help each other based on their conditions.

Hence

this

essay has clearly demonstrated that the right to support working determinedly is important.

Submitted by [email protected] on Wed Mar 27 2024

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task achievement

Focus on developing a clearer introduction and conclusion. Your opening should provide a brief overview of the differing views on the topic and introduce your stance. Your conclusion should succinctly summarize the main points and reiterate your viewpoint.

task achievement

Improve specificity and relevance of examples. While you mention billionaires' success due to hard work, providing a specific example with details would strengthen your argument.

task achievement

Clarify and expand upon your points. Certain sentences are confusing or lack detailed explanation. Clearer and more comprehensive development of your ideas will make your argument stronger.

coherence cohesion

Organize paragraphs logically and ensure a smooth flow of ideas. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea and the sentences should connect logically to support that idea.

coherence cohesion

Use linking phrases more effectively to improve cohesion between sentences and paragraphs. This helps guide the reader through your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

234 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

perseverance
discipline
resilience
effort
tenacity
external factors
financial resources
favorable appearance
perceptions
advantages
intrinsic
extrinsic
sustainable
facilitating
undeniable

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Some people think that success in life comes from hard work and determination, while others think that there are more important factors such as money and appearance. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

Some people believe that everyone has a right to have access to university education, and that governments should make it free for students, no matter what financial bike round they have. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

hese days, many people have their own computer and telephone, so it is quite easy for them to do their job at home. Does working at home have more advantages or more disadvantages?

You are looking for a full-time job. Write a letter to an employment agency. In your letter: introduce yourself explain what sort of job you would like say what experience and skills you have

Food can be produced much more cheaply today because of improved fertilizers and better machinery. however ,some of the method used to do this may be dangerous to human health and may have negative effects on local communities to what extent do you you agree or disagree?

In many countries, more and more people choose to buy imported food rather than food produced locally. Why people buy imported food? What could be done to encourage people to buy local food?