Some people think that success in life comes from hard work and determination, while others think that there are more important factors such as money and appearance. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
The majority of
people
believe that working hard and determining are helpful to life, while
others say that it is more significant issues like money
and physical appearance
. This
writer is of the opinion that the former choice is the option.
The reason why I agree with the former choice is that hard work
or determination can overcome arduous challenges. This
is true because, people
who work
determinedly can create motivation for work
every day, thereby working in a comfortable and confident mood. Consequently
, this
helps them be steadfast when facing difficult decisions and increases efficiency in work
so success
in life will come. For example
, all over the world has
many billionaires achieve Unnecessary verb
apply
success
because they have determination and work
hard non-stop.
Another point worth considering is that having money
and possessing a beautiful appearance
can bring benefits for the future. The reason is that when people
who have money
or appearance
can make a first impression on others, cooperate based on each other's interests. As a result
, many beneficial conditions will be given and bring
wealth and success
in life. Besides
, success
will easily collapse if people
no longer have any useful value.
In conclusion, having much
Correct quantifier usage
a lot of
money
and appearance
has a variety of benefits bacause
human can cooperate and help each other based on their conditions. Correct your spelling
because
Hence
, this
essay has clearly demonstrated that the right to support working determinedly is important.Submitted by [email protected] on
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task achievement
Focus on developing a clearer introduction and conclusion. Your opening should provide a brief overview of the differing views on the topic and introduce your stance. Your conclusion should succinctly summarize the main points and reiterate your viewpoint.
task achievement
Improve specificity and relevance of examples. While you mention billionaires' success due to hard work, providing a specific example with details would strengthen your argument.
task achievement
Clarify and expand upon your points. Certain sentences are confusing or lack detailed explanation. Clearer and more comprehensive development of your ideas will make your argument stronger.
coherence cohesion
Organize paragraphs logically and ensure a smooth flow of ideas. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea and the sentences should connect logically to support that idea.
coherence cohesion
Use linking phrases more effectively to improve cohesion between sentences and paragraphs. This helps guide the reader through your argument.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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