In many countries around the world, life expectancy is increasing. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this situation and give your own opinion
Currently, the whole world has seen a growth in average lifespan, which
becomes
a controversial issue. From my perspective, there are both benefits and drawbacks Wrong verb form
has become
in
rising longevity.
On the Change preposition
to
upsides
, people may have more chances in both Fix the agreement mistake
upside
work
and relaxation. To be more specific, the young may find it challenging to achieve success in their careers due to
lack of experience while
when they become experienced enough, their old age is a barrier that prevents them from getting promoted at work
. What is more, individuals are likely to spend around forty years to immerse
in Change the verb form
immersed
work
to earn a living without having personal time to discover new places. As a result
, after retirement, the elderly may find it possible to visit their favorite
destinations. Change the spelling
favourite
Economic
contribution is another advantage of increasing lifespan. With Add an article
The economic
longer
time to Correct article usage
a longer
work
, it is easier for them to have more savings to enjoy their lives after retirement.
On the downsides
, that average lifespan is increasing may become a financial burden to society. In fact, the increase in the cost Fix the agreement mistake
downside
for
elderly services has a negative impact on the yearly taxes of every country. Change preposition
of
Moreover
, longevity may
become workforce challenges. Despite the fact that the young try their best to have better income as well as
take advantage of every opportunity, they may have difficulty in competing against those who are older and have more experience. By way of example, many employers are in favor
of experienced candidates that leave the newbies under a lot of pressure.
In conclusion, Change the spelling
favour
while
the increase in life expectancy offers various advantages such
as extended opportunities for work
and leisure, as well as
increased economic contributions from older individuals, it also
presents challenges,including the financial burden on society and workforce competition. Therefore
, it is essential for societies to address these challenges while
capitalizing on the benefits of longer life expectancySubmitted by bichngoc.ngochoa on
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Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure your essay features a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. This structure is present, but refining transitions between ideas could make your argument even more persuasive.
Task Achievement
Develop your main points with more specific examples and evidence. This will help strengthen your arguments and make your essay more compelling.
Task Achievement
Be sure to directly address all parts of the task question. While your essay provides a balanced view on the advantages and disadvantages of increased life expectancy, integrating your own opinion more thoroughly throughout the essay could enhance your task response.
Coherence & Cohesion
To improve coherence, use a wider range of linking words and phrases to connect ideas more smoothly. Although you have made an effort in this area, greater variety and precision in your choice of connectors can enhance the flow of your essay.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.