More and more people today are drinking sugar-based drinks. What are the reasons for this? What are the solutions?

#people #drinks

Today

fastpacing

Correct your spelling

fast pacing

fast-pacing

fastpacking

genration

Correct your spelling

generation

mostly teenagers

everytimes

Correct your spelling

everytime

they

tends

Change the verb form

tend

show examples

to try

sugar based

Add a hyphen

sugar-based

show examples

drinks

.And

due to

the fact that the

concequences

Correct your spelling

consequences

are apposite for teenagers health.In the forthcoming

paragraph

Add a comma

paragraph,

show examples

I will explain and discuss why

peoples

Fix the agreement mistake

people

show examples

likes

sugar - based

Correct your spelling

sugar-based

show examples

drinks

and what are the

solution

Fix the agreement mistake

solutions

show examples

for not

to use

Change the verb form

using

show examples

these kind

Change the determiner

this kind

these kinds

show examples

drinks

in their

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

. Mostly

people

like teenagers try new things like

to have added

Wrong verb form

adding

show examples

new

drinks

in their daily

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

sugar based

Add a hyphen

sugar-based

show examples

drinks

which may

leads

Change the verb form

lead

show examples

peoples

Fix the agreement mistake

people

show examples

life

in very big

problem

Fix the agreement mistake

problems

show examples

future

Correct article usage

the future

show examples

aspects.Because in starting age of

Correct the article-noun agreement

apply

show examples

young adults are trying new they

drinks

Change the verb form

drink

show examples

sugar based

Add a hyphen

sugar-based

show examples

drinks

then

the

suger

Correct your spelling

sugar

level in their body

increses

Correct your spelling

increases

day by day

due to

this

high level of

sugar

body

sufferd

Correct your spelling

suffered

suffers

with high blood pressure.To avoid

this

kind of

dieases

Correct your spelling

disease

people

live

halthy

Correct your spelling

healthy

life

instead

drinks

Wrong verb form

drinking

show examples

high or extra based

drinks

people

Capitalize word

People

show examples

can

added

Wrong verb form

add

show examples

bitter gourd to maintain the

sugar

level in

blood

Correct pronoun usage

their blood

show examples

. On the other aspects in recent

genration

Correct your spelling

generation

generations

who

drinks

Correct subject-verb agreement

drink

show examples

these kind

Change the determiner

this kind

these kinds

show examples

drinks

are mostly

teenager

Fix the agreement mistake

teenagers

show examples

and

younger

Correct article usage

the younger

show examples

genration

Correct your spelling

generation

reason behind

this

is because of

toxic

Correct article usage

the toxic

show examples

enviornment

Correct your spelling

environment

Younger

Correct article usage

The younger

show examples

genration

Correct your spelling

generation

generations

are

Change the verb form

show examples

looked other

people

to drink so they wish to try so

teacher

Fix the agreement mistake

teachers

show examples

and parents

are try

Change the verb form

are trying

show examples

guid

Correct your spelling

guide

and tell them

Change preposition

apply

show examples

that not good for

health

Correct pronoun usage

their health

show examples

and in schools need to add a

seprate

Correct your spelling

separate

subject to knowledge about healthy

life

In addition

government

need

Correct subject-verb agreement

needs

show examples

to apply

high

Correct article usage

a high

show examples

tax

Fix the agreement mistake

taxes

show examples

on these

sugar based

Add a hyphen

sugar-based

show examples

company

drinks

to not

Fix the infinitive

apply

show examples

supply

Correct your spelling

too

show examples

much.

To sum up

with

Change preposition

apply

show examples

,One of the

scientest

Correct your spelling

scientists

scientist

said

Correct word choice

that

show examples

anything we

drinks

Change the verb form

drink

show examples

or we eat today

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

will help to

developed

Wrong verb form

develop

show examples

or may

effects

Change the verb form

effect

show examples

Change preposition

apply

show examples

our body and mind.So,

our

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

today

Change noun form

today's

show examples

Correct your spelling

generation

genration

Correct your spelling

generation

is very

Correct your spelling

useful

usefull

Correct your spelling

useful

for our upcoming future

peoples

Fix the agreement mistake

People

show examples

need to avoid extra

based

Verb problem

apply

show examples

drinks

in their

Correct your spelling

daily life

dailylife

Correct your spelling

daily life

Submitted by sanjayrajput2163 on Wed Mar 27 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence & Cohesion

Focus on structuring your essay more logically. Start with an introduction that clearly states your main points, followed by body paragraphs each dedicated to a different point, and conclude by summarizing your arguments.

Coherence & Cohesion

Include an introduction and conclusion that clearly reflect the main arguments and summaries of your essay, respectively. This will help strengthen your essay’s structure and readability.

Coherence & Cohesion

Support your main points with more detailed examples and explanations. This will help your essay be more persuasive and show a deeper understanding of the topic.

Task Achievement

Ensure your essay fully addresses all parts of the task. This includes discussing both the reasons for the trend and possible solutions in equal measure.

Task Achievement

Aim for clearer and more comprehensive development of your ideas. This involves explaining your points more thoroughly and ensuring they directly answer the essay question.

Task Achievement

Include more specific examples to illustrate your points. Real-life examples or hypothetical scenarios can make your arguments more convincing and engaging.

General

Improve your grammatical accuracy and vary your sentence structures to enhance readability and demonstrate a wider range of language skills.

General

Make sure to proofread your essay to correct spelling errors and improve overall clarity. Pay attention to the correct use of articles, prepositions, and verb tenses.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
73Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

294 words

4.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
There is a lot of pressure on young people today to success academically.as a result some people believe that non academic subjects such as physical education and cookery should be removed from the school syllabus so that children concentrate on academic work
There is an intense debate about the efficiency of practical materials in the education strategies. However, some experiments argue that, these articles must be revealed from curriculum. Another group go beyond that these materials has a crucial role in the child mentality. I totally agree with latter view.
7
band
Children at secondary school are often taken on visits to museums, zoo and concerts and sometimes even to other countries. What do you think the advantages and disadvantages of such visits are?
At present, with the improvement of education, a variety of trips have been organized for secondary school students to places such as museums, zoos, concerts, and even foreign countries are becoming more common than in the past. From my standpoint, this could bring plenty of benefits but there are also some drawbacks.
6
band
Most employers do job interviews before offering a position to a person. Do you think this is the best way to do it, or are there better alternatives? What is the best method of choosing employees in your opinion?
Nowadays, when applying for work, you are obligated to engage in an interview as a trial to determine whether you are a valuable asset to a company's firm. But recently, I find that this method of choosing workers is quite insubstantial because of how little evidence is provided to entrust new individuals, which will be further elaborated and clipped with a hypothetical solution.
4.5
band
Nowadays, children play less with others and this has an impart on their development. What are the reasons for this? Does it have a good or a bad effect on children?
In the modern world, there have many causes why children are spending time with people lower than before ,and this action is very important for their growth and behavior. In my opinion, I think is negative for children. This essay will discuss about this situation.
7
band
Car ownership has increased so rapidly over the past thirty years that many cities in the world are now 'on ebig traffic jam'. How true do you think this statement is ? What measures can governments take to discourage people from using their cars?
Car is very important for people in the present year. Also, cars are highly increased over 30 years in all places around the world. So, the growing number of cars is affected by traffic jams. In my ,opinion I think that cars can make traffic jams on road but everyone needs to use a car.Therefore, the government needs to focus on this problem. This essay will argue the benefits of using cars and how to government discourage people from using their cars.

More and more people today are drinking sugar-based drinks. What are the reasons for this? What are the solutions?

Fully explain your ideas

There is a lot of pressure on young people today to success academically.as a result some people believe that non academic subjects such as physical education and cookery should be removed from the school syllabus so that children concentrate on academic work

Children at secondary school are often taken on visits to museums, zoo and concerts and sometimes even to other countries. What do you think the advantages and disadvantages of such visits are?

Most employers do job interviews before offering a position to a person. Do you think this is the best way to do it, or are there better alternatives? What is the best method of choosing employees in your opinion?

Nowadays, children play less with others and this has an impart on their development. What are the reasons for this? Does it have a good or a bad effect on children?

Car ownership has increased so rapidly over the past thirty years that many cities in the world are now 'on ebig traffic jam'. How true do you think this statement is ? What measures can governments take to discourage people from using their cars?