IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

You recently booked a part-time course at a college. You now need to cancel your booking. Write a letter to the college administrator. In your letter, say which part-time course you booked explain why you need to cancel your booking ask about booking a different course

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Dear Sir The purpose of inscribing
this
Linking Words
 missive is to cancel the booking of my
Business
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management
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 course, in which I am enrolled as a part-time student in the evening session of your college at the Toronto campus. I
inclined
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am inclined
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 to shift my interest
in
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to
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 International
Business
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Management
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 topic because I reckon that it is
more
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a more
the more
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 demanding stream in today's
fast paced
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fast-paced
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 environment.
Moreover
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, I want to pursue my career as a
Business
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 Analyst, so getting enrolled in
International
Correct article usage
an International
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Business
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Management
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instead
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 of
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Business
Correct article usage
a Business
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Use synonyms
management
Capitalize word
Management
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 course
,
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apply
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 will open new opportunities
of
Change preposition
for
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an
Remove the article
apply
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 employment for me.
However
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, I came to know that I have to burn
mid night
Correct your spelling
midnight
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 oil in order to secure an internship
at the end
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 of term but I am ready to face all the difficulties for my future. I want the administration to cancel my booking in the
Business
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Management
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 Course and give me admission in
Internation
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International
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Business
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Management
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 as a full-time student,
along with
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 the transfer of my fees to
this
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 subject. Sorry for the inconvenience in advance. I will wait for the confirmation of enrollment from
college
Correct article usage
the college
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. Yours Faithfully Ram

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Task Response
Ensure that your introduction clearly outlines the purpose of your letter. While your introduction does mention the intent to cancel a booking, consider directly stating the course name and your student details (if applicable) for clearer context.
Task Response
To enhance task response, it's crucial to explicitly address all parts of the prompt. You've mentioned the course you want to cancel and provided reasons for doing so, but consider adding more specific queries about the process of enrolling in a different course, including any deadlines or financial considerations.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your letter demonstrates a good structure, moving logically from introduction, to the reason for cancellation, to requesting enrolment in a new course. To improve coherence, link your paragraphs more seamlessly by using transitional phrases that guide the reader through your argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
While your letter has a clear greeting and closing, using a more formal closure (e.g., 'Yours sincerely' for known recipients or 'Yours faithfully' for unknown recipients) would better suit the formality of the context.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Part-time course
  • Cancellation
  • Booking
  • Administrator
  • Financial situation
  • Work commitments
  • Health issues
  • Inconvenience
  • Transfer
  • Subject area
  • Schedule
  • Format
  • Cancellation policy
  • Refund process
  • Assistance
  • Understanding
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