IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

You are moving to a new city and need a place to live. Write a letter to a real estate agent in the city. In your letter: explain why you are moving to the city describe the type of accommodation you are looking for mention your budget and any specific requirements you have.

#city #place #estate #agent #type #accommodation #budget #requirements
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Dear Mr. Banka, I am writing
this
Linking Words
 letter to enquire about some of the
accomodation
Correct your spelling
accommodation
 options in your city, as I am
shifting
Verb problem
moving
show examples
 here
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
next month.
Firstly
Linking Words
, I am moving
Ajax
Change preposition
to Ajax
show examples
 because I got a better work
oppurtunity
Correct your spelling
opportunity
 in the Rexall pharmacy. The company offered me a
full time
Add a hyphen
full-time
show examples
 job with a fixed
two
Use synonyms
 years contract length. I accepted the offer letter and now actively looking for a cosy place to live.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, my
prefered
Correct your spelling
preferred
 dwelling is a 2 BHK flat with
two
Use synonyms
 full washrooms because I am coming here with my whole family
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
which I have my husband and
two
Use synonyms
 children. So, I need a spacious
Use synonyms
two bedroom
Add a hyphen
two-bedroom
show examples
independant
Correct your spelling
independent
 apartment with all the possible facilities.
Moreover
Linking Words
, I can afford 1700 per utilities per month but I need
two
Use synonyms
 car
parkings
Correct your spelling
parking
 as
me
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
my husband
both
Correct word choice
and
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
us
Correct pronoun usage
I
show examples
 have our own cars. I am looking forward to your prompt response. Yours sincerely, Priyanka
Submitted by priyankapanwar251287 on

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Language
Ensure to double-check spellings such as 'accomodation' to 'accommodation', 'oppurtunity' to 'opportunity', 'prefered' to 'preferred', and 'independant' to 'independent'.
Task Achievement
Clarify the budget part for better understanding, such as stating if '$1700 per month including utilities' or '$1700 plus utilities per month'.
Task Achievement
The letter clearly explains the reason for moving and thoroughly describes the type of accommodation needed.
Coherence and Cohesion
The letter is logically organized with clear paragraphs for each main idea.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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