IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

An increasing number of professionals, such as doctors and teachers, are leaving their own poorer countries to work in developed countries. What problems does this cause? What solutions can you suggest to deal with this situation? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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There is a trend where more and more professionals are leaving their countries for richer countries in search of a better life. In
this
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 essay, I plan to discuss issues caused by
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 phenomenon and a
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 of possible solutions to tackle them. Speaking about the reasons, I would like to note the imbalance between the supply and demand of these specialists. To elaborate, the relevant authorities, based on the needs of society, determine the
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 of doctors,
for example
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, to provide medical services in the country. If doctors leave their native places, there will be a lack of experts who are able to treat people.
Consequently
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, society will have strain in the medical sphere, spreading illnesses and, probably, increasing
statistic
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 of deaths.
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, if there is a deficit of professionals, the prices of services they provide will increase.
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, the public will have an additional financial burden that can lead to economic instability. Among possible solutions, I would like to point out government strategies that support young specialists through the rewards system.
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, teachers could be provided with preferential conditions for getting an accommodation.
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, their children could be given a chance to participate in numerous after-school activities for free.
Apart from
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, the tax rates could be decreased for these people. In conclusion,
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 the increased
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 of experts leaving their home places and moving abroad causes a
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 of the described above issues, I still believe that there are ways to hold them through various supporting strategies.

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coherence cohesion
Your essay presents a clear structure and a logical flow of ideas, which aids in understanding. However, further improvements in linking expressions and transitions between paragraphs could enhance the overall coherence and cohesion of your essay.
task achievement
To improve your task response score, ensure that you explicitly address all parts of the question. While you have discussed problems and solutions, the inclusion of more specific examples and a broader discussion on the impact would enhance your response. This could provide a more complete answer to the question posed.
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