In many countries, sports and exercise classes are replaced with academic subjects. What is your opinion? What are the effects on the children in their lives?

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There is an ongoing debate regarding whether physical learning classes should be replaced by academic educational programs.
While
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this
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shift may aim to provide comprehensive support for pupils' academic performance, I strongly assert that
this
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is an erroneous approach that can contribute to having negative influences on undergraduates'
overall
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development. Examining the former perspective, prioritising main studies like Mathematics or English may seem beneficial as it allows youngsters to allocate more period of schedule to enhance their academic knowledge and skills. To illustrate, teenagers would gain discipline from a scientific subject, creativity from Literature and English.
This
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can potentially promote their examination results and better prepare them for higher schooling and competitive job markets.
Furthermore
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, recent times might be considered as an era where professional qualifications are highly valued, not only for the betterment of education, but
also
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for a higher chance of future occupation. Maximising classroom meetings is a must.
Hence
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, schools and tutors should minimise unessential modules
,
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apply
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and concentrate on crucial fields
instead
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.
On the contrary
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, those in favour of the latter opinion have their own arguments, as removing
sports
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and exercise from the curriculum can be detrimental to children in several ways.
To begin
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with, they claim that physical activities and exercises serve a significant role in reinforcing students' physical well-being. It is true that students would be forced into a toxic lifestyle, where they spend hours in front of desks and screens without regular
sports
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hours.
This
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lack of movement might be the main cause of chronic diseases
such
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as obesity and the decline of the immune system. What is more, the reduction of physical education negatively affects learners' mental health. Since
sports
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work as a natural outlet to release stress and anxiety, mainly caused by heavy workloads. It is noteworthy that if juveniles work at full pressure without any time for entertaining themselves with
sports
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, they are more prone to experience burnout. In reverse, the replacement of academic subjects neither helps the youth
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nor improves their
overall
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happiness. In conclusion,
although
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increasing the timetable for the academic schedule may appear advantageous, replacing exercise classes is likely to have harmful impacts on pupils’ both physical and mental well-being. Striking a balance between academic and physical activities is essential for nurturing well-rounded folks.

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task response
Answer both parts more directly. Say your opinion in a very clear way and keep it strong in all parts.
task response
Use more real and clear examples. This will make your ideas stronger and easier to trust.
task response
Some ideas are good, but a few are too general. Explain them in a simpler and more exact way.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, middle, and end, which is good.
coherence and cohesion
Some linking is not smooth. A few sentences are long and hard to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Put one main idea in each part and support it step by step.
task response
You clearly give your opinion in the introduction and keep the same side in the conclusion.
task response
You talk about both school study and sports, so the answer fits the question.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has clear paragraphs, and the reader can follow your main plan.
coherence and cohesion
The conclusion is clear and matches the ideas above.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Physical well-being
  • Healthy growth and development
  • Obesity
  • Diabetes
  • Mental health
  • Stress
  • Anxiety
  • Depression
  • Social skills
  • Teamwork
  • Leadership
  • Communication
  • Academic performance
  • Concentration
  • Memory
  • Cognitive functions
  • Lifelong habits
  • Balanced lifestyle
  • Holistic development
  • Talent development
  • Athletics
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