You are applying to get admitted to an educational programme at a university abroad. Specify what you want to study and write a motivation letter, including the following points- •What attracted you to this particular programme, reason for wanting to study- your motivations and ambitions •How your current study is relevant and what your academic achievements are •Why you are suitable- extracurricular activities, hobbies and other experience related to your choice of programme.

#programme #university #study #motivation #points- #•what #reason #study- #motivations #ambitions #•how #achievements #•why #suitable- #activities #hobbies #choice

Dear university, I am writing

this

letter because I

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

want to apply to

get

Verb problem

show examples

admitted to an educational

programme

. In the following, I am going to talk about what attracted me to

this

particular

programme

, my study and academic achievements , and those of them how to help me to study

this

progamme

Correct your spelling

programme

and why

them

Change the pronoun

they

show examples

are suitable. First of all, the

programme

can have a lot of actual

operation

Fix the agreement mistake

operations

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will go

Change preposition

apply

show examples

shool

Correct your spelling

school

show examples

have

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

teaching and

teacher

Fix the agreement mistake

teachers

show examples

will use a lot of

activit

Correct your spelling

activity

activities

to teach the

knowlege

Correct your spelling

knowledge

make

Correct word choice

and make

show examples

children easy to know .

Also

, I have s dream is I want to be a teacher in the future so I want to study

this

Change preposition

in this

show examples

programme

Correct your spelling

program

show examples

Submitted by asllchkied on Thu Mar 28 2024

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structure

Your letter lacks a formal structure which typically includes an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Consider structuring your letter more clearly to enhance its coherence.

greeting and closing

You have not used a formal greeting or a closing statement, which are expected in a motivation letter for university admission. Use phrases like 'Dear Admissions Committee' and 'Sincerely yours,' followed by your name, to give your letter a professional tone.

paragraph structure

Each paragraph should focus on a single idea or point. Your letter blends several topics together, making it difficult to follow. Try to separate your motivations, academic achievements, and suitability into distinct paragraphs.

task completion

The response does not fully address the task. Details about the specific program you are applying for, how your studies are relevant, and specific academic achievements are missing. Make sure to clearly address all points mentioned in the task.

writing tone

The writing tone of your letter alternates and lacks the formality expected in an application letter. Use a consistent and formal tone throughout the letter to maintain professionalism.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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2Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14Grammar mistakes
 

3 paragraphs

120 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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