computers do not help children learn more effectively. On the contrary the use of computer has a negative effect on children’s physical and mental development. Do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Computers
Use synonyms
are common digital devices nowadays and it is used in helping
children
Use synonyms
to learn.
However
Linking Words
, some
people
Use synonyms
believe that
computers
Use synonyms
are not helpful for
children
Use synonyms
to learn more and
it
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
would cause adverse effects on the physical and mental development of
children
Use synonyms
. I disagree
Linking Words
this
Change preposition
with this
show examples
statement absolutely.
First,
Linking Words
computers
Use synonyms
can provide
much
Fix the agreement mistake
apply
show examples
valuable learning information to
children
Use synonyms
to improve their understanding
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
their subjects. For
examples
Fix the agreement mistake
example
show examples
,
children
Use synonyms
can search
something
Change preposition
for something
show examples
they may not familiar
by
Change preposition
with by
show examples
using the Internet. The internet would supply different information to explain the theories or reasons. It may help
children
Use synonyms
to figure out their studying field. Nowadays, Artificial
Intelligences
Fix the agreement mistake
Intelligence
show examples
also
Linking Words
become
more
Correct article usage
a more
show examples
popular
tools
Fix the agreement mistake
tool
show examples
for
people
Use synonyms
to search
knowledge
Change preposition
for knowledge
show examples
such
Linking Words
as Chatgpt. It is convenient for
children
Use synonyms
to
use
Use synonyms
AI to help them solve challenges faced in their academic journey. Some
people
Use synonyms
may think using
computers
Use synonyms
still is negative for the development of
children
Use synonyms
because
children
Use synonyms
may be addicted to
Use synonyms
use
Change the verb form
using
show examples
computers
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, it is thought that using
computers
Use synonyms
is not beneficial for
children
Use synonyms
because some
children
Use synonyms
lack
of
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
self-discipline by some
people
Use synonyms
. It is not a well-rounded statement. If parents and other
people
Use synonyms
can help
children
Use synonyms
to build a proper attitude
to
Change preposition
toward using
show examples
use
Use synonyms
computers
Use synonyms
, kids
would
Wrong verb form
will
show examples
enjoy the benefits of using
computers
Use synonyms
to study. Parents may set some rules for
children
Use synonyms
using
computers
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
as
restrict
Wrong verb form
restricting
show examples
the time of
using
Wrong verb form
use
show examples
computers
Use synonyms
to
avoid
Verb problem
prevent
show examples
children
Use synonyms
abuse
Wrong verb form
abusing
show examples
computers
Use synonyms
. It is useful to reduce the risk of getting negative effects of using
computers
Use synonyms
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
children
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, using
computers
Use synonyms
can provide advantages to the study of
children
Use synonyms
.
Children
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
need to be
self-discipline
Replace the word
self-disciplined
show examples
to
use
Use synonyms
computers
Use synonyms
to prevent adverse effects of using
computers
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by asllchkied on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph contains one clear main idea that you expand upon. This helps in maintaining logical flow and depth of discussion.
coherence cohesion
Introductions and conclusions are important to frame your argument. Your introduction is clear, but your conclusion could more explicitly summarize your key points and stance.
task achievement
Support your arguments with specific examples. While you've mentioned AI like ChatGPT, citing specific, real-world examples of how computers aid learning can strengthen your essay.
task achievement
Be attentive to the balance of your essay. Ensure both sides of the argument (agreeing and disagreeing) are represented, but make sure to emphasize your stance more.
coherence cohesion
Review and ensure the use of diverse and accurate phrases and vocabulary. It enhances the clarity and persuasiveness of your ideas.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: