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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows UK air pollutants in millions of tons, from three different sources, between 1990 and 2005.

The graph below shows UK air pollutants in millions of tons, from three different sources, between 1990 and 2005.
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The chart compares millions of tons of
air
Use synonyms
pollutants
Use synonyms
 in the UK from three various sources between 1990 and 2005.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is noticeable that three types of
air
Use synonyms
pollutants
Use synonyms
; industry, total
air
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pollutants
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, and
households
Use synonyms
, are far from stable
overtime
Correct your spelling
over time
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.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
,
according to
Linking Words
 the line graph, the rate of
transport
Use synonyms
stay
Correct subject-verb agreement
stays
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 steady over the period of 15
years
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. First of all, it is clearly seen that
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 The numbers of industries and total
air
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pollutants
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 saw an approximately negligible amount of decline throughout the course of three
years
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.
However
Linking Words
, The quantities of
transport
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 and
households
Use synonyms
keep
Verb problem
remained
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 unchanged between 1993 and 1996. Following six
years
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 (1993–1999), we can see that, the figures
of
Change preposition
for
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industry
Add an article
the industry
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, total
air
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pollutants
Use synonyms
 and
households
Use synonyms
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 faced plummet.
Linking Words
Although
Correct word choice
However
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, the amount of
transport
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 level off at
overtime
Correct your spelling
over
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.
Secondly
Linking Words
, Turning to the next
years
Use synonyms
 (1999-2005), as
line
Correct article usage
the line
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 graph illustrates, before the number of total
air
Use synonyms
pollutants
Use synonyms
go
Wrong verb form
went
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 down in 2005, it remained
only
Change preposition
for only
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 3
years
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, more precisely in 2002. If we look at the numbers of industry and
households
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, they dropped by around 50% to 1-3 million tons, cases. The amount of
transport
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 remained its number as always, More accurately, its rate was estimated at approximately
nearly
Rephrase
apply
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1-2 million tons during
Correct article usage
the
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quindecennial

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Vocabulary: Replace the words air, pollutants, households, transport, years with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "numbers of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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