IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

ou were supposed to go on an interview in a few weeks, but you have since found out you cannot go on the date arranged. Write a letter to the potential employer. In your letter: - tell them why you need to move the interview time - ask to change the interview date - explain that you are still interested in being interviewed for the job

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Dear Sir/Madam, I am writing
this
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 letter to request you to please forward my interview day. I am Harmanjot Singh and I am a designer software engineer I have a certificate in ProE, Autocad and CAD/CAM. I applied online one week ago for the job of Assistant designer.
Although
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 I have been selected for the interview dated April 5, 2024, I could not attend
this
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 conference
due to
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 the marriage of my real brother being on the same date I can not miss
this
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 occasion since
this
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 is the destination wedding and all the onus of
this
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 wedding are on me. So, I will not be available on
this
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 day. I
also
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 do not miss the opportunity to join your company because
this
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 company is renowned in my state and close to my house so I easily commute to the office without wasting time. So I kindly request you to please shift my conference date to any day in the second week of April. I look forward to hearing from you. Yours faithfully, Harmanjot Singh

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coherence cohesion
To enhance the logical structure of your letter, consider organizing your thoughts more clearly. Start with a brief introduction to the context, followed by a clear statement of your request. Then, provide a detailed explanation of your reasons and conclude with a polite call for action. This will make your letter more coherent and easier to follow.
coherence cohesion
For greeting and closing, while your use of 'Dear Sir/Madam' and 'Yours faithfully' is appropriate, personalizing the greeting (if the name is known) could make your letter feel more tailored and respectful. Similarly, including a thank you statement in the closing could enhance politeness.
coherence cohesion
While you did maintain one idea per paragraph, improving transitions between paragraphs can make the flow smoother. Use transitional phrases to connect your paragraphs logically, which will improve the readability and cohesiveness of your letter.
task achievement
You've done well in addressing the task's requirements by explaining your situation, requesting a change of the interview date, and reaffirming your interest in the position. To further improve your task achievement, make sure every part of the task is addressed fully. For instance, consider elaborating more on your skills and how they make you a good fit for the position, as this shows your enthusiasm and suitability for the job.
task achievement
Your writing tone is generally suitable, maintaining the formal tone required for such a letter. However, paying closer attention to word choice and sentence structure can help to eliminate minor errors and enhance formality. For example, avoid informal phrases and ensure that your sentences are complete and grammatically consistent.
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