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Band 2.5

maintaining public libraries is a waste of money since computer technology can replace their functions . do you agree or disagree.

#libraries #waste #money #computer #technology #functions
In recent years ,
computer
 technology has dominated globally
hence
 it reduces the
maintainace
Correct your spelling
maintenance
of public
libraries
 since they are no longer in usage to a greater
extend
Replace the word
extent
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.
however
, it
have
Change the verb form
has
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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advantages and disadvantages
for example
people
 tend to understand
on
Change preposition
apply
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hardcopies so they will be in need of
libraries
 , expensive to take care
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
as the bills will need to be catered for and the workers , inclusively. Maintaining
of
Change preposition
apply
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public
libraries
 is
time consuming
Add a hyphen
time-consuming
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in terms of one needs to go and do the cleaning yet the probability of
people
to come
Change the verb form
coming
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on that day is zero. Moreso,it is expensive to
cater
Verb problem
pay
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 for the bills of water, taxes,
salary
Correct word choice
and salary
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 of the workers
Add the comma(s)
,
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unlike
Add an article
a computer
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computer
Fix the agreement mistake
computers
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.To add on , it is a
non profit
Add a hyphen
non-profit
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organisation since it is not flexible for
people
 to come
everyday
Replace the word
every day
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.
However
,
computer
Add an article
the computer
a computer
show examples
 is very
much
Fix the agreement mistake
apply
show examples
easy to access as
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
show examples
 can just use it
Change preposition
at an
show examples
an
Correct determiner usage
any
show examples
 time they can even
carrry
Correct your spelling
carry
 it wherever they want to go.
furthermore
, there are
variety
Add an article
a variety
show examples
 of books and even materials to practice on
Add the comma(s)
,
show examples
therefore
,
people
 tend to favour using
computer
Add an article
a computer
the computer
show examples
 but using
computer
Add an article
a computer
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 usually one
looses
Correct your spelling
loses
show examples
 focus because of adverts
of
Change preposition
for
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 other things will
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
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popping up in my own opinion , maintaining public
libraries
 is a waste of money as the advantages of using
computer
Fix the agreement mistake
computers
show examples
 outweighs the disadvantages of taking care of
libraries
Submitted by teterayithelma on

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Introduction
Ensure the essay begins with a clear introduction that presents your overall stance on the topic. This will create a strong foundation for your argument and improve coherence.
Supporting Examples
Develop your arguments with more specific examples and evidence. This will help demonstrate the depth of your understanding and strengthen your main points.
Conclusion
End with a concise conclusion that summarizes your arguments and reiterates your stance. This will provide closure and improve the overall structure of your essay.
Logical Structure
Organize your ideas more logically, ensuring a smooth flow from one point to the next. Transitions between paragraphs and sentences can greatly improve readability and cohesion.
Language Proficiency
Be mindful of spelling, grammar, and style to ensure your writing is as clear and professional as possible. Minor errors can distract from the content of your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • repositories of books
  • promoting literacy
  • community engagement
  • equal access to information
  • digital divide
  • accessibility issues
  • personalized assistance
  • educational programs
  • cultural events
  • safe spaces
  • community meetings
  • tactile experience
  • preserving historical documents
  • important cultural repositories
  • fostering a sense of community
  • communal hubs
  • serene and focused environment
  • conducive to study and reflection
  • irreplaceable value
  • distracted environment
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