IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

some people believe govt must apply high taxes to provide good public service to everyone. Give your opinion

#people #govt #taxes #service
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It is generally accepted that some people argue that the government offering high taxes, will lead a better public service for residents.
This
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 essay will demonstrate why the more expensive taxes will be more beneficial to society services throughout the following paragraphs. The first significant reason why
this
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 situation would be helpful
,
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 is to improve the quality of the
the
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facilities in the city. Society provides a variety of statuses, rich, middle-class, poor, and homeless,
due to
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 the fact that each type of person gets different levels of income. The way to solve
this
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 problem is to increase the price tax on rich families
,
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 and decrease the payment for those people who cannot afford the higher price.
For example
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,
rich
Correct article usage
the rich
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 population love to collect supercars and brand-name bags, so the government can chart them on higher taxes. Now, the government will have more budget for developing the service,
such
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 as more railway stations to cover the country, to make it convenient for residents to travel. Not only provides convenience
,
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 but
also
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makes
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gives
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 a country a better look in terms of tourist attractions.
Besides
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 the facilities, it can limit the uses of toxic pollution from using their own vehicle, because people prefer public transport to their own.
On the other hand
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, the middle class and poor should pay less on the tax, because they have a lower salary.
Additionally
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, the administrator will be able to help these
population
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populations
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 by reducing payments, and they can save money for other occasions. In conclusion, rich tax should be more expensive than everyone, in fact
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to help community service.
This
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 will definitely bring a good look to the hometown
such
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 as the development of the railway that goes along around the town.
Submitted by piasnatcha09 on

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logical structure
Ensure your essay has a clear structure, starting with an introduction that states your main point, followed by body paragraphs that each tackle a specific aspect or argument related to your opinion, and conclude with a summary that reiterates your stance clearly.
introduction conclusion present
Consider including a brief opening sentence in your introduction that contextualizes the topic before stating your opinion. This can create a smoother transition and set the stage for your argument.
supported main points
When presenting your main points, try to use clear topic sentences that directly relate to the question. Following these with specific examples or further explanation will make your arguments stronger and more coherent.
complete response
You address the task quite well by presenting a clear opinion on the topic and supporting it with examples. However, for a higher score, make sure to fully develop your ideas with more detailed examples and explanations that closely relate to your main argument.
clear comprehensive ideas
Focus on clarity of your ideas by directly connecting them back to the topic at hand. Avoid any redundancy or irrelevant information, as this can detract from the overall coherence of your essay.
relevant specific examples
Incorporate more varied and detailed examples to back up your statements. While you included some examples, using more specific and relatable details can enhance your argument's persuasiveness and relevance.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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