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Band 5.5

Many people believe that it is easier to have a healthy lifestyle in the countryside. Others believe that there are health benefits of living in cities. Discuss both views and give your opinions.

#people #lifestyle #countryside #health #cities
Living in the
countryside
 or
cities
 both have their own advantages when it comes to staying healthy. Some folks think it's simpler to lead a healthy life in the
countryside
,
while
 others argue that city living offers its own
health
 perks. In
this
 essay, we'll look at both sides of the coin and
then
 I'll share my thoughts.
Firstly
, living in the
countryside
 can make it easier to have a healthy lifestyle for several reasons.
Firstly
, the air is often cleaner and fresher, which is good for our lungs and
overall
health
.
Secondly
, there's usually more space to move around, so people tend to engage in more outdoor activities like walking, jogging, or cycling.
Thirdly
, the
countryside
 often has access to fresh and organic foods since farming is common, which can lead to a healthier diet. On the flip side, living in
cities
also
 has its
health
 benefits. Despite the hustle and bustle,
cities
 usually have better healthcare facilities and more options for sports and fitness centres.
Additionally
,
cities
 offer a wider variety of fresh foods from different cultures, allowing for a diverse and balanced diet.
Moreover
,
cities
 often provide more job opportunities, which can lead to a better quality of life and
overall
 well-being. In my opinion, both rural and urban areas offer unique opportunities for maintaining a healthy lifestyle.
While
 the
countryside
 provides a peaceful environment with clean air and access to fresh produce,
cities
 offer convenience, healthcare facilities, and a diverse range of activities. Ultimately, the key to a healthy lifestyle lies in personal choices and habits rather than the location of one's residence.
Therefore
, whether one lives in the
countryside
 or the city, it's important to prioritize
health
 by staying active, eating nutritious foods, and seeking medical care when needed.
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on

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Task Achievement
To improve Task Achievement, ensure that your essay fully addresses all parts of the prompt. While you've discussed both views and given your opinion, more detailed examples and evidence supporting your claims would strengthen your response. Try to include more specific instances or statistical information that back up your viewpoints.
Coherence and Cohesion
For Coherence and Cohesion, focus on improving the logical flow of your essay. This can be achieved by using a wider range of linking words and creating clearer topic sentences that guide the reader through your arguments. Additionally, paragraphs should be more distinct, with each one focusing on a single main idea or argument.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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