Some people believes that parents force their children to get sucess but other believes they need to teach them values of cooperation? Give your opinion with relevant examples?

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Some argue that kids are being forced by their mom and dad to succeed,

while

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others

Use synonyms

think that they should be taught the importance of being cooperative

instead

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Although

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imposing the importance of success

Change preposition

show examples

children

Use synonyms

can force them to

work

Use synonyms

hard, I believe that cooperation is more important because it teaches them to

work

Use synonyms

on a team. On the one hand, forcing

children

Use synonyms

to be successful in life can help them to

work

Use synonyms

hard. Instilling

this

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mindset on them can make them believe that if they

work

Use synonyms

hard enough they will be able to achieve anything they want in life. They will be more competitive and

this

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can

also

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enhance their confidence,

as a

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result

Add a comma

result,

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they will be more successful.

For instance

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, Elon Musk said that he was more motivated to do well in school because his parents expected him to be a dean's lister when he was studying.

However

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, teaching kids to be cooperative is more important because it can help them to

work

Use synonyms

on a team. Cooperation teaches

children

Use synonyms

the value of working with

others

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. It can help them learn that sharing the workload can get things done faster. It does not only help them know their

strenghts

Correct your spelling

strengths

and weaknesses but

as well as

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others

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thus

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this

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collaboration can achieve greater success.

For example

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,most company

required

Wrong verb form

require

show examples

their employee to be a good team player because they know that

this

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is essential for the growth of the company.

Hence

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, I believe that working with

others

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plays a more

imporatant

Correct your spelling

important

role in

children

Use synonyms

's lives. In conclusion, though forcing a child to be successful

encourage

Correct subject-verb agreement

encourages

show examples

them to

work

Use synonyms

harder, I think that cooperation teaches them the importance of working with

others

Use synonyms

yoko.oneromThu Mar 28 2024

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Introduction

Expand your introduction by offering a clearer thesis statement that directly addresses the question, specifying your stance more assertively.

Coherence

Enhance logical flow by using a wider range of cohesive devices and transitions between paragraphs. This will help readers follow your argument more smoothly.

Examples

In the body paragraphs, provide more in-depth examples to support your points. Specific, detailed examples will strengthen your argument and make it more persuasive.

Conclusion

A more comprehensive conclusion that not only restates your main points but also reflects on the implications or offers a final insight would make your essay more impactful.

Task Response

Try to cover all aspects of the task more thoroughly, including addressing counterarguments or alternative viewpoints to enrich your discussion.

Structure

Your essay presents a clear topic for each paragraph, which helps in maintaining a neat organizational structure.

Topic Relevance

You’ve centered your argument around key values—success driven by pressure versus the importance of cooperation, which is a strong, relevant topic.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

281 words

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Some people believes that parents force their children to get sucess but other believes they need to teach them values of cooperation? Give your opinion with relevant examples?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Today it is common practice for many business meetings and training to take place online. Do the advantages of this new development outweigh the disadvantages

Some people choose to have their first child at an older age. What are the reasons? Do the advantages outweigh disadvantages?

Some people believe that children should study all subjects at school, while others think they should only study subjects they are good at or find interesting. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Write a letter to your friend. In your letter Recommend the best time of year to visit and why Describe the types of accommodation your friend could choose Say what you would like to show your friend in your country Write at least 150 words. You do NOT need to write any addresses.