IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Nowadays for many people internet is replacing books. What is your opinion?

#people #internet #books
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In today's era of the modern world, the
Internet
Use synonyms
 is taking the place of
books
Use synonyms
 as a source of information. I do believe that
Use synonyms
Internet
Correct article usage
the Internet
show examples
 is preferred by many
people
Use synonyms
,
However
Linking Words
, some
people
Use synonyms
 still read
books
Use synonyms
. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will discuss my opinion. The
Internet
Use synonyms
 has revolutionized our life.In the past ,in their leisure
time
Add a comma
time,
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 used to read
books
Use synonyms
 to entertain themselves.But nowadays
Use synonyms
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 has changed our hobbies. A lot of information is available on the
internet
Use synonyms
 which can be easily accessed by
people
Use synonyms
.Everything is available on
Use synonyms
Internet
Correct article usage
the Internet
show examples
 like TV shows, movies, games,
news
Correct word choice
and news
show examples
, so most
people
Use synonyms
 spend their time on
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
 engaged in their favourite
activity
Fix the agreement mistake
activities
show examples
. From
educational
Add an article
an educational
show examples
 point of view, students can find a lot of resources related to their studies like
books
Use synonyms
,
articles
Correct word choice
and articles
show examples
 on the
internet
Use synonyms
.Social media has
also
Linking Words
 changed
preference
Fix the agreement mistake
preferences
show examples
such
Linking Words
 as the young generation likes to spend their time using
facebook
Capitalize word
Facebook
show examples
, Instagram and TikTok.There is a great deal of activities on
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
 which has diverted our interest from reading
books
Use synonyms
. Despite these facts, there are some
people
Use synonyms
 who still like reading
books
Use synonyms
,
although
Linking Words
 their proportion is less as compared to
internet
Use synonyms
 users. Some students
instead
Linking Words
 of using
Use synonyms
Add an article
the internet
show examples
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
, like to study from their
books
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, students like me, prefer to study from
books
Use synonyms
, as we find it distractive to study on
Use synonyms
Add an article
the internet
show examples
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
.
To sum up
Linking Words
, it can not be denied that
books
Use synonyms
 are being replaced by
Use synonyms
Add an article
the internet
show examples
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
,
Linking Words
however
Add a comma
however,
show examples
 the importance of
books
Use synonyms
 for
sum
Correct your spelling
some
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 cannot be ignored.
Submitted by khumaira540 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linguistic fluency and variety
Continue enriching your essays with diverse vocabulary and varied sentence structures to enhance readability and interest.
Content depth
To further strengthen your arguments, consider incorporating more specific examples or statistics when discussing the impact of the internet and books.
Balanced argumentation
Ensure to maintain a balance in discussing both sides of an argument, to provide a comprehensive view on the topic.
Introduction
The introductory paragraph provides a clear stance on the topic, effectively setting the stage for the discussion.
Coherence & Cohesion
Logical organisation of paragraphs and smooth transitions between ideas demonstrate strong coherence and cohesion.
Supporting examples
You've effectively supported your points with relevant examples and explanations, which significantly enhances the essay's persuasive power.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: