The pie charts below show the devices people in the 18 to 25 age group use to watch television in canada in two different years

The pie charts below show the devices people in the 18 to 25 age group use to watch television in canada in two different years
IELTS Writing Task Chart for The pie charts below show the devices people in the 18 to 25 age group use to watch television in canada in two different years
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The given graphs illustrate the information about the proportion of the devices which were used for watching
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

tv
Correct your spelling
TV

The word tv doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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by the 18-25 year olds in Canada in 2009 and 2019.
Overall
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
it is clear that
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

category
Correct article usage
the category

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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of convention
TV
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

sharply decreased
in
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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,
while
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

the proportion of tablet and flat-screen
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
TV
Fix the agreement mistake
TVs

It seems that TV may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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significantly increased in 2019.
According to
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

the pie chart for 2009, the figure for convention
TV
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

was dominant
with
Change preposition
at

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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34%. As for desktop
computer
Fix the agreement mistake
computers

It seems that computer may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
and
Fix the agreement mistake
laptops
show examples
Fix the agreement mistake
laptops

It seems that laptop may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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laptop
Add a comma
laptop,
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figures constituted more or less the same point and stood at approximately 20%. The percentage of mobile
phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones

It seems that phone may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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accounted for less than a fifth.
Finally
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, devices like
tablet
Fix the agreement mistake
tablets

It seems that tablet may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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and flat-screen
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
TV
Fix the agreement mistake
TVs

It seems that TV may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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were the least popular in watching television among
18
Correct article usage
the 18

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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to 25 age group. In 2019, flat-screen and mobile
phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones

It seems that phone may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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were by far the most useable
devises
Replace the word
devices

The word devises doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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for watching
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
tv
Correct your spelling
TV

The word tv doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples
among
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
18-
25 olds
Correct your spelling
25-year-olds

The words 25 olds seem to be misspelled. Consider replacing them.

with 27% and 26%, respectively.
Similarly
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, desktop
computer
Fix the agreement mistake
computers

It seems that computer may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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and
Laptop
Fix the agreement mistake
laptops

It seems that Laptop may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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had an identical
per cent
Correct your spelling
percentage

The word per cent doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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of 12. The percentage of
tablet
Fix the agreement mistake
tablets

It seems that tablet may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
accounted for almost a fifth,
while
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

the category of conventional
TV
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

made up just 4%.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Vocabulary: Replace the words tv with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • pie charts
  • 18 to 25 age group
  • devices
  • watch television
  • Canada
  • comparison
  • shift
  • preferences
  • mobile devices
  • traditional televisions
  • technological advancements
  • television viewing habits
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