The pie charts below show the devices people in the 18 to 25 age group use to watch television in canada in two different years

#show #devices #people #age #group #television #canada #two #years

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The given graphs illustrate the information about the proportion of the devices which were used for watching

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by the 18-25 year olds in Canada in 2009 and 2019.

Overall

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it is clear that

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category

Correct article usage

the category

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of convention

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sharply decreased

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apply

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while

Linking Words

the proportion of tablet and flat-screen

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TVs

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significantly increased in 2019.

According to

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the pie chart for 2009, the figure for convention

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was dominant

with

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34%. As for desktop

computer

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computers

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and

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laptops

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laptop

Add a comma

laptop,

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figures constituted more or less the same point and stood at approximately 20%. The percentage of mobile

phone

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phones

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accounted for less than a fifth.

Finally

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, devices like

tablet

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tablets

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and flat-screen

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TVs

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were the least popular in watching television among

Correct article usage

the 18

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to 25 age group. In 2019, flat-screen and mobile

phone

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phones

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were by far the most useable

devises

Replace the word

devices

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for watching

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Correct your spelling

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among

the

Correct article usage

apply

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18-

25 olds

Correct your spelling

25-year-olds

with 27% and 26%, respectively.

Similarly

Linking Words

, desktop

computer

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computers

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and

Laptop

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laptops

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had an identical

per cent

Correct your spelling

percentage

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of 12. The percentage of

tablet

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tablets

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accounted for almost a fifth,

while

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the category of conventional

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made up just 4%.

Submitted by ina1_95 on Thu Mar 28 2024

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".

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Vocabulary: Replace the words tv with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
21
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

176 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

pie charts
18 to 25 age group
devices
watch television
Canada
comparison
shift
preferences
mobile devices
traditional televisions
technological advancements
television viewing habits

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The pie charts below show the devices people in the 18 to 25 age group use to watch television in canada in two different years

Personal development -agree or disagree..personal development is the base for professional development and advancing in once carrier. To what extend do you agree or disagree

Discuss the causes of rising unemployment in some regions or countries and the potential effects of them on society.