The pie charts below show the devices people in the 18 to 25 age group use to watch television in canada in two different years

The pie charts below show the devices people in the 18 to 25 age group use to watch television in canada in two different years
The given graphs illustrate the information about the proportion of the devices which were used for watching
tv
Correct your spelling
TV
show examples
by the 18-25 year olds in Canada in 2009 and 2019.
Overall
,
it is clear that
category
Correct article usage
the category
show examples
of convention
TV
sharply decreased
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
,
while
the proportion of tablet and flat-screen
TV
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TVs
show examples
significantly increased in 2019.
According to
the pie chart for 2009, the figure for convention
TV
was dominant
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
34%. As for desktop
computer
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computers
show examples
and
Fix the agreement mistake
laptops
show examples
laptop
Add a comma
laptop,
show examples
figures constituted more or less the same point and stood at approximately 20%. The percentage of mobile
phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
show examples
accounted for less than a fifth.
Finally
, devices like
tablet
Fix the agreement mistake
tablets
show examples
and flat-screen
TV
Fix the agreement mistake
TVs
show examples
were the least popular in watching television among
18
Correct article usage
the 18
show examples
to 25 age group. In 2019, flat-screen and mobile
phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
show examples
were by far the most useable
devises
Replace the word
devices
show examples
for watching
tv
Correct your spelling
TV
show examples
among
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
18-
25 olds
Correct your spelling
25-year-olds
with 27% and 26%, respectively.
Similarly
, desktop
computer
Fix the agreement mistake
computers
show examples
and
Laptop
Fix the agreement mistake
laptops
show examples
had an identical
per cent
Correct your spelling
percentage
show examples
of 12. The percentage of
tablet
Fix the agreement mistake
tablets
show examples
accounted for almost a fifth,
while
the category of conventional
TV
made up just 4%.
Submitted by ina1_95 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Vocabulary: Replace the words tv with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • pie charts
  • 18 to 25 age group
  • devices
  • watch television
  • Canada
  • comparison
  • shift
  • preferences
  • mobile devices
  • traditional televisions
  • technological advancements
  • television viewing habits
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