IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

research shows that business meetings, discussions and training are happening online nowadays. do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

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Advancement
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Advancements
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on
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in
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 technology
has
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have
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 made living
to be
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apply
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easier than before. Current findings suggest that more
bussiness related
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business-related
 talks, meet-ups and teachings happen virtually. The below essay will elaborate
furtheron
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further on
further
merits
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the merits
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 and demerits of the above notion. On one hand,
the
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apply
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online gatherings in business
has
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have
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an
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the
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 advantage
of
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apply
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that shareholders or workers can do wherever they might be without travelling which saves time and money at the same time.
Furthermore
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, it is cheaper as there would be no rental fees and refreshments involved in conducting
agenda
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the agenda
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 of that day.
Additionally
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, it is good for the environment as it
elliminates
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eliminates
 fuel
pollutin
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pollution
 from those who might be going to the gathering. Meetings can be recorded and kept in
the
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apply
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cyber space
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cyberspace
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 without any inconvenience and it can
accomodate
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accommodate
 more
individualls
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individuals
individually
 without an expensive venue.
For example
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,
zoom
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in zoom
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 meetings about 1000 people can join and it eliminates
spreading
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the spreading
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 of diseases .
On the other hand
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, there are quite a number of negative effects
such
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 as signal loss,
for
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example
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example,
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 in
Zimbabwe
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Zimbabwe,
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 there
is
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are
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 power shortages which will now require additional
source
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sources
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 to make it for the meeting.
Moreover
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, there is
loss
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a loss
the loss
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 in the transport industry as they would have gained by transporting those people to the venue.
Finally
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, it is not easy to judge
on
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apply
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body language or reactions especially if it is not
video
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a video
the video
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 but
audio
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an audio
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 call. In conclusion, it is evident that the positives are more than
negatives
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the negatives
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 , as advantages
includes
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include
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 no hustle for
venue
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the venue
a venue
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, less financial strain, being good for the environment, accommodating a large number of members at once and
also
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 can be done
at
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in
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 the comfort of their own homes just to mention a few.

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coherence cohesion
Try to enhance clarity and readability by structuring your sentences more carefully. This could involve using a wider range of punctuation and ensuring that each sentence flows smoothly into the next.
task achievement
To further improve task achievement, ensure that each point you make directly supports your argument. While your essay already presents a strong case, refining this aspect could make your argument even more compelling.
general
For both coherence and task achievement, incorporating more specific examples and statistics could make your argument more convincing. This adds credibility and allows the reader to see practical examples of the points you're making.
task achievement
Your essay does a great job of outlining both the advantages and disadvantages of online business meetings, effectively balancing both sides of the argument.
coherence cohesion
You have an effective introduction and conclusion, which clearly state your opinion and succinctly summarize your main points.
coherence cohesion
The essay's structure makes it easy to follow, with a logical flow from one idea to the next. This greatly aids in the overall coherence and cohesion of your piece.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • virtual collaboration
  • teleconferencing
  • webinar
  • remote access
  • cost efficiency
  • cultural diversity
  • interactive platform
  • networking opportunity
  • sustainability
  • carbon footprint
  • cybersecurity
  • encryption
  • bandwidth
  • digital divide
  • screen fatigue
  • team cohesion
  • asynchronous communication
What to do next:
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