Nowadays people are choosing to socialise online rather than to face. Is this a positive or negative development ?

#people #socialise #face #development

This

day social online are chosen by

people

more frequently than to meet each other to face. Generally, we live in the modern world, where

people

can use any technology. So

this

can cause a large problem, like

people

's poor social skills.

This

social disaster made humans definitely the laziest that ever been. But how does

this

problem appear and how we can deal with it ? First of all, the main cause of

this

trouble with sociality is our gadgets. In the past,

people

with autism or other mental health problems suffered from anti-social lifestyles. But today, most of the outer world a large problems with socialising in real life, because a quarantine (COVID-19) closed us in our homes. So all we have to do is sit in

houses

Correct pronoun usage

our houses

show examples

and contact

with

Change preposition

apply

show examples

others by gadgets and phones. At the same time, the whole world was destroyed by the fear of not getting infected by the virus. In the same way,

this

accident was about 2 years, and it was enough to change society in a negative direction.

Nevertheless

, society will never change back to a normal lifestyle. Anyway, we have a small chance to become a little bit better.

Firstly

we must train ourselves to spend time without gadgets.

For instance

, spend time at the picnics or hiking.

Secondly

, we must try to find more and more new friends in real life, to develop our social skills. And mainly we need to be healthy

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

because healthy humans have more chances to be popular among other

people

. From my point of view, I suffer from the same problem, and I definitely argue that online socializing is a negative development!

Submitted by nigora1629 on Thu Mar 28 2024

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Vocabulary

Try to use a wider range of vocabulary to express your points more precisely.

Grammar

Make sure to proofread your essay to correct minor grammatical errors for improved clarity.

Content

Consider exploring both the positive and negative sides of online socializing to provide a more balanced argument.

Content

Your essay provides a clear stance on the topic, which is great for the task achievement.

Coherence

You organized your essay well with a logical structure, making it easy to follow.

Examples

The real-world examples used, such as the impact of COVID-19, help strengthen your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

279 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

social media platforms
online interactions
virtual communication
global community
interpersonal skills
digital divide
cyberspace
virtual presence
social networking
mental wellbeing
digital literacy
safe spaces
marginalized groups
face-to-face communication
socialisation

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Nowadays people are choosing to socialise online rather than to face. Is this a positive or negative development ?

Fully explain your ideas

Some people think the government should not spend on international aid because there are disadvantaged people in their countries, such as the unemployed and homeless. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

More and more people are suffering from health problems caused by a modern lifestyle which cannot be treated with modern medicines. Some people think that a return to traditional medicine should be encouraged. To what extent do you agree?

In many countries children are engaged in sorne kind of paid work. Sorne people regard this as complete/y wrong, while others consider it as valuable work experience, important for learning and taking responsibility. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

100.In many countries, the traditional family structure is changing, and an increasing number of children are being raised by single parents or by grandparents. Discuss the possible reasons for this trends and its potential consequences in society.