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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Cheaper airfare has increased air travel in the last decade and it has positive effects on nations as per some while others disagree. Discuss both the views. Give your opinion

#airfare #air #travel #decade #effects #nations
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These days,
travel
Correct article usage
the travel
show examples
 and
tourism
 industries are constantly
in-demand
Correct your spelling
in demand
show examples
due to
higher
Correct article usage
the higher
show examples
 frequency of international and national trips.
Due to
 continuous competition, these industries have dropped their prices to attract customers. I believe
this
 has positive effects on
nations
 and
this
 essay will outline examples and a conclusion to support my view.
Firstly
,
Due to
 cheap
air
travel
Add a comma
travel,
show examples
 there is a drastic increase in
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
 of travellers as more
people
 now can afford the prices of
air
travel
. There are many countries where there is only one way to reach and
that is
 via
air
travel
 and it has
became
Change the verb form
become
show examples
more
Change the word
apply
show examples
easier for
people
 to
travel
 to
those kind
Change the determiner
that kind
those kinds
show examples
 of countries.
For example
, there is a heritage place in India and there is only one way to reach there.
Hence
, due
cheaper
Change preposition
to cheaper
show examples
air
travel
, more
people
 can visit that place and that increases
over all
Correct your spelling
overall
show examples
tourism
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the country. There are many other ways through which
air
travel
 has positive effects on the
nations
 like increasing
tourism
, popularity, attracting international
audience
Fix the agreement mistake
audiences
show examples
 and affordable
travel
.
On the other hand
, many
people
 believe that
this
 has a negative impact on
nations
. Many
people
also
 believe that cheaper
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
travel
 means
cheaper
Correct article usage
a cheaper
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
country.
For example
, a recent survey shows that many
people
 avoid visiting
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 country with cheaper
travel
 expenses because they think that the nation is
under developed
Correct your spelling
underdeveloped
show examples
. In conclusion, I strongly believe that cheaper
air
travel
 has positive impacts on
nations
 like increase in
tourism
, increase in foreign income and pocket friendly.
Submitted by tirththakkar23 on

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Content
Continue to support your ideas with relevant, specific examples. Including diverse examples can make your argument even stronger.
Grammar
Be mindful of your grammatical range and accuracy. Small errors can detract from the clarity of your argument.
Structure
Maintain the balance between both views before presenting your opinion for a well-rounded discussion.
Structure
Your essay is well-structured, with clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, contributing to high scores in logical structure and presence of introduction/conclusion.
Content
You've effectively presented and supported your main point of view which enhances the clarity and persuasiveness of your argument.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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