The demand for coaching services has grown significantly in the digital age, with online coaching platforms becoming prevalent. Some now feel online coaching is a superior option to in-person coach. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Technology has brought tremendous changes to our lives. Meanwhile,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
education
also
comes under its influence. Nowadays, online coaching programs are popular and regarded as
preferable
Add an article
a preferable
show examples
option as compared to in-person classes. Many folks opine it is
a
Change the article
the
show examples
best option.
However
; I
am partially disagree
Change the verb form
partially disagree
show examples
with the former notion. My views are discussed with
explanation
Correct article usage
an explanation
show examples
in upcoming paragraphs. To commence with, thanks to the Internet which made it possible for
the
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apply
show examples
individuals who are living
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
far away
Correct your spelling
faraway
show examples
places to access
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
world class
Add a hyphen
world-class
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professors
regarless
Correct your spelling
regardless
of geographical limitations.
For
example
; the students from India can study under the guidance of teachers from Canada.
As a result
, they can learn valuable lessons and broaden their horizons with the help of their experiences.
Moreover
; e-learning provides more flexible options
along with
saving time and money.
For
example
; they can choose a batch which fits their
time-table
Correct your spelling
timetable
show examples
and the time which they use to travel,
they
Correct word choice
and they
show examples
can use it for other productive
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
.
Therefore
, it saves their money as well.
For instance
, my expenses cut
to
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by
show examples
approximately 30% since the time I started working online.
Nevertheless
, electronic learning makes our lives easy but
still
Add a comma
still,
show examples
there are many areas in the World, which still don't have access to working Wifi or
Internet
Correct article usage
an Internet
show examples
network.
For
example
; in a developing country like India, There are many states where
Internet
Add an article
the Internet
show examples
is not accessible.
As a result
, people get deprived of
such
education which is available online only.
Thus
, there is a need
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
in-person classrooms in
such
areas.
Besides
that, many practical subjects cannot be taught online.
For
example
; an experiment of Science can be done in
Science
Correct article usage
the Science
show examples
lab only.
To conclude
, both in-person and distance education have their own benefits.
Thus
, I reckon that classrooms should be a mixture of both learning forms and practical subjects should be taught through face-to-face learning.
Submitted by bawanpreet070 on

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Organization
You have a clear and logical structure in your essay which makes your argument easy to follow. However, pay attention to paragraphing to ensure a neat presentation of ideas.
Vocabulary
Providing examples is excellent for supporting your points. To elevate your essay, integrate a wider range of high-level vocabulary related to the topic.
Argument Construction
Your introduction and conclusion succinctly present your overall viewpoint. For further enhancement, try to integrate a counterargument and its refutation within the body paragraphs to provide a more balanced discussion.
Grammar
Be mindful of minor grammatical errors and inconsistencies. Proofreading can help in minimizing these mistakes and present your ideas more clearly.
Understanding
Your essay demonstrates a good understanding of the topic and presents a well-reasoned argument.
Use of Examples
You’ve effectively used examples to support your points, making your arguments stronger and more relatable.
Structure
Your essay is structured in a way that makes it easy for readers to understand your viewpoint and follow your line of thought.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • virtual platforms
  • interactive sessions
  • personalized learning
  • multimedia resources
  • asynchronous communication
  • cost-efficient
  • impersonal
  • connectivity issues
  • hands-on experience
  • data protection
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