Some people advocate the death penalty for those who committed violent crimes. Others say that capital punishment is unacceptable in contemporary society.Describe the advantages and disadvantages of the death penalty and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#people #advocate #death #penalty #crimes #punishment #society

The death penalty has

been

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

many opinions, some believe

that is

the best solution for violent crimes

however

Correct word choice

but

show examples

others denote

that is

not acceptable in our times.

Overall

, in light of the death penalty, It is a hard

way

to trying to decrease violent crimes, but

on the other hand

, it is the best

way

to eliminate from the earth, people who had

this

instinct to rape or murder citizens that not do anything to deserve to end with their lives.

For example

, if is our son, I truly believe that

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

any parent never

want

Correct subject-verb agreement

wants

show examples

that something to happen to their child. A drawback for a handful of people is

because

Correct word choice

that

show examples

is a severe

way

to punish for a crime.

However

, we need to think about, what

happen

Change the verb form

happens

show examples

if is someone that we know, a relative or someone that we love.

In contrast

, what other

way

do we have to be sure that

this

person never commits again a crime

Change the punctuation

show examples

What occur if our sister was raped, what punishment do we think is

according to

this

sort of crime, that could make up for the victim.

To sum up

, there

Change the verb form

are

show examples

huge differences between benefits and disadvantages

that

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

how

Correct word choice

and

show examples

society needs to talk about and make hard decisions about

this

topic, putting our feelings outside and realizing that the person is going to be punished could be ourselves.

Submitted by catherina.manrique.aguinaga on Fri Mar 29 2024

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coherence cohesion

To improve your essay, it would be useful to clearly structure your paragraphs. Begin with an introduction that outlines your main points, follow with body paragraphs that discuss the advantages and disadvantages separately, and conclude with a clear, concise statement that reflects your opinion.

task achievement

Develop your ideas more fully by providing specific examples that support each advantage and disadvantage of the death penalty. Examples improve clarity and help the reader understand your point of view.

language accuracy

Remember to proofread your essay for grammar and punctuation errors to ensure clarity and coherence in your written expression.

content knowledge

You've touched upon important aspects of the debate around the death penalty, showing awareness of its complexity.

personal voice

Your essay reflects a personal and passionate perspective, which can engage the reader effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

229 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Advocates
Capital punishment
Contemporary society
Violent crimes
Deterrence
Retribution
Cost-effectiveness
Imprisonment
Innocent
Unethical
Inhumane
Misuse
Legal systems
Heinous crimes
Closure
Moral concerns

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