IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

You have recently moved to another city but your bank has your old address and continues to send all the communication there. Write a letter to your bank Branch. In this letter mention: -Where you have moved? -What problem are you facing regarding the bank's communication? -What do you want them to do regarding old communication already sent to the wrong address

#city #bank #address #communication #branch #-where #-what
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Dear Sir or Madam, The reason why I am addressing you is to inform
that
Correct pronoun usage
you that
show examples
 I have recently moved to London Baker Street 221b which is my new address. So I have some problems with your bank services
such
 as continuing the connections with my old address and sending the notifications and reports. First of all, I am Asadbek Bozorov. I have recently moved from Liverpool to London. More precisely,
destination
Add an article
the destination
a destination
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 of my house is Baker Street 221b near the Sherlock Holmes museum. Honestly speaking, because of moving, I am facing some issues with
bank's
Correct article usage
the bank's
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 communication. Primarily, it is too far from my new home to use services easily. I can
also
 say that some old communications have already
sent
Add a missing verb
been sent
show examples
 to the wrong address. Regarding the wrong communications, please resend them to me as soon as possible. For that, I would recommend moving my account to one of your branches near my place in London. Looking forward to your positive response. Yours faithfully, Asadbek Bozorov
Submitted by soglomovsarvar on

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coherence cohesion
Consider using paragraph headings to make each section of your letter clear and straightforward.
task achievement
To further enhance your letter, you might include specific details or examples, such as mentioning the type of communications missed (e.g., statements, notifications) for a full response.
task achievement
Excellent use of formal language suitable for writing to a bank.
coherence cohesion
The letter is well-organized, with a clear introduction, body, and closing.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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